Category: Michael Sanchez

Lauren Sanchez’s Brother Claims That She’s Engaged To Jeff Bezos

February 7, 2020 / Posted by:

Since Succession isn’t coming back for a long time, we’ll just have to be content with this messy, low-rent Dynasty knock off called Bezos’ Billions to get our fix of billionaire schadenfreude. On last week’s episode, Michael Sanchez was suing Jeff Bezos, The World’s Richest Man (we know this because he’s named as such in the lawsuit), and a private investigator named Gavin de Becker for defamation, claiming he was falsely accused of selling pictures of his sister’s lover’s dick to The National Enquirer. Today, Page Six reports that details included in the lawsuit suggest that Jeff and said sister, Lauren Sanchez, The World’s Most Glamorous Woman (we know this because just look at her!), are engaged. And that’s not the only tease written between the lines of Michael’s lawsuit which reads like The World’s Shadiest Legal Document.

Continue reading

Lauren Sanchez’s Brother Is Suing Jeff Bezos For Defamation 

February 3, 2020 / Posted by:

When the richest man in the world Jeff Bezos announced that his marriage to MacKenzie Bezos was over, we learned that he was with Lauren Sanchez. Things got more awkward from there. Lauren’s brother, Michael Sanchez got wrapped up in an alleged plot to bring down Jeff Bezos. The scheme involved Donald Trump, American Media Inc. and its owner David Pecker. Michael is the one who originally leaked Jeff and Lauren’s sexy text messages which led to Jeff revealing his divorce. So allegedly Michael did the same thing with the dick pics, and now he’s suing over the accusations. And yes, we should all file a class-action suit against everyone involved for making us picture the richest dick’s dick.

Continue reading

Lauren Sanchez And Jeff Bezos May No Longer Be Together

March 20, 2019 / Posted by:

The Wall Street Journal claimed this week that Lauren Sanchez’s Trump-loving gay brother, Michael Sanchez, sold her out to The National Enquirer for $200,000 by giving them sexts between her and Jeff Bezos. The WSJ also said that Michael gave the Enquirer dick pics that Jeff texted Lauren. Michael denied that he gave Jeff’s dick pics to the Enquirer. But now he’s telling Page Six that he did help the Enquirer with their exposé on Jeff and Lauren allegedly cheating on their spouses by bumping home wrecking fuck parts. Michael claims he made a deal with the Enquirer to help his sister. No word if “sister” is his nickname for his checking account, but one source claims that his acts of greedy buffoonery may have fucked up his sister’s chances at becoming a billionaire’s second wife!

Continue reading

Jeff Bezos’ Dick Pics Cost The National Enquirer $200,000

March 19, 2019 / Posted by:

That’s a low ass sum since the gold nut nuggets that Jeff Bezos’ jizzes out are worth twice as much as that.

We already know that Lauren Sanchez’s Trump-loving brother Michael Sanchez is probably the one who sold his sister’s cringeworthy sexts (although, aren’t all sexts cringeworthy?) with Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos to The National Enquirer. But now the Wall Street Journal says that Michael Sanchez did Lauren dirty (just call him Dirty Sanchez) for the price of $200,000. Sure, $200,000 is $200,000, but I’m wondering if Michael Sanchez ever strolled over to the billionaire turtle and said, “So, future-brother-in-law, the Enquirer offered me 200k for those pics of your dick, but my finger could find its way to the delete button if you just so happen to cough a diamond into my palm. I mean that literally, I just watched you cough diamonds into your cashmere handkerchief.”

Continue reading

Lauren Sanchez’s Pro-Trump Brother Is Probably The Source Of The Leaked Texts Given To The National Enquirer

February 11, 2019 / Posted by:

Well, it turns out Jeff Bezos didn’t accidentally leave his dick pics on the photocopier at work after all. As he suspected, more sinister forces were at work that led to the National Enquirer obtaining private text messages between Jeff and his lovah, Lauren Sanchez, which the Enquirer published. According to a Daily Beast investigation, the person responsible to handing over the goods to the Enquirer was Lauren’s own brother, Trump supporter and Roger Stone’s sometime BFF, Michael Sanchez. Damn. Sometimes, it really do be your own family.

Continue reading

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >