Category: Coronation Shit
King Charles Landed Winnie The Pooh (And Tom Cruise) For His Coronation Concert
Move over, Adele. Get the hell out of here, Paddington! Finally, a REAL celebrity has been announced for King Charles III’s star-studded coronation party. He’s been a beloved staple of the movie scene for years and is known for doing his own outrageous stunts: Winnie the Pooh! The chubby, honey-fiending bear will be joining the likes of lesser-knowns such as Tom Cruise and Katy Perry, to commemorate Charles becoming the official owner of all the swans in the UK.
Sarah Ferguson Won’t Be At The Coronation But She Will Attend The Concert The Next Day
Now that King Charles has scrounged up a beautiful roster of reality show judges, like Katy Perry and Lionel Richie, to perform at his coronation after-party concert, it’s being reported that redheaded royal rebel Sarah Ferguson, AKA Original Fergie, has been invited for the concert after being snubbed for the coronation. But she explained why she wasn’t upset over not being invited to King Charles’ senior prom extravaganza.
Prince Harry Was Reportedly Disappointed That His Father King Charles Didn’t Directly Invite Him To The Coronation
On this new episode of What Did You Expect?, we learn that Prince Harry wasn’t directly invited to the coronation next month by King Charles himself but instead through a last-minute, third-party email that was probably just like, “Fine, you can come.” Despite Charles not reaching out with the invite himself, it’s rumored that the father and son have held some peace talks since Harry aired out the family’s dirty laundry in Spare.
Katy Perry And Lionel Richie Are Both Performing At King Charles’ Coronation
We’re only a few weeks away from the day King Charles receives his sash and flowers at his coronation, finally becoming the HBIC in the UK. And as an extra added bonus, his ride-or-die wife Camilla will also be in attendance for a crown of her own after Charles upgraded her to Queen status. To say this is one of the most “meh” moments in history would be an understatement, and many artists like Ed Sheeran and Adele have found other things to do with their time so as to not be attached to any of this madness. But Katy Perry and Lionel Richie either didn’t get the memo, or they just don’t care because they’ve both agreed to curtsy and kowtow before Chuck as a few of his musical guests for the big day next month. And yes, I guess Chuck had to import some of the entertainment for his big day.
Sarah Ferguson Wasn’t Invited To King Charles’ Coronation
Earlier this week, Buckingham Palace confirmed that Prince Harry would be attending King Charles’ coronation, but Meghan Markle and kids Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet would not. Mystery solved, case closed, let’s all get back to our boring lives and stop worrying about the coronation guest list. BUT WAIT. The Independent is now reporting that Sarah Ferguson did not get an invite. I repeat, Original Fergie has been snubbed! The Independent calls the exclusion “slightly surprising” because everybody knows it’s proper etiquette to invite your disgraced pervert brother’s shady ex-wife to your late-in-life crowning.
Prince Harry Will Be At King Charles’ Coronation Without Meghan Markle And Their Children
FINALLY, we can all close our eyes tonight and drift into a worry-free sleep now that the question that has repeatedly punched us in the brains for eons has been answered. Today, Buckingham Palace burped up the answer to the world’s most important question, “Will Prince Harry and Meghan Markle go to King Chuck’s Corny in May?” Well, the tabloids only have to hire half the number of lip readers and body language experts they were planning to hire for King Charles’ Coronation because Prince Harry will be there, but Meghan Markle is skipping it. She will stay in California with their kids to celebrate their son Prince Archie’s 4th birthday, which is on the same day as the Coronation. That Coronation is probably going to turn into the longest game of dodgeball for Harry because he’s going to keep dodging Queen Camilla so that he doesn’t run into her and have to bow down to Queen Side Piece.