Category: Extreme Vegans
Beyond Meat’s COO Was Arrested For Allegedly Biting A Man’s Nose After A College Football Game
Douglas Ramsey is the COO of Beyond Meat, that company that makes vegan plant-based meat substitutes. It’s unclear if Doug is a vegan, but, this past weekend, he was craving meat… human meat. People reports that the 53-year-old was arrested for allegedly biting a man’s nose. Douglas also threatened to kill the man, and has been charged with terroristic threatening and third-degree battery. The incident went down in a parking garage after a University of Arkansas football game. Apparently, the recipient of the nose-bite hit Douglas’ Bronco with his Subaru, and Dougie-boy went psycho, jumping out of his car and punching through the Subaru’s back windshield. Beyond Meat: Hulk the Fuck Out & Destroy Everything!
Alicia Silverstone Once Again Says That Her Son Is An “Example Of Health” Due To His Vegan Diet
A couple of years ago, Alicia Silverstone claimed that her son Bear Blu, who is now 9 years old, never gets sick and she gave credit to his vegan diet for that. Alicia also credited his plant-based diet for why he’s perfectly behaved and poops like an angel. But in case you forgot about all of that, Alicia is back to once again tell you that Bear’s got the immune system of a superhero thanks to being vegan.
Alicia Silverstone Said Her Son Doesn’t Need Any Discipline Because Of His “Vegan Diet”
Alicia Silverstone is best known for two things: Clueless, and being a hippy vegan momma who let her baby eat chewed up food out of her mouth like a bird (a move Crystal Methyd paid homage to in last week’s Rupaul’s Drag Race finale).
Well, her baby, son Bear Blu, is 9 years old now, and Alicia’s still all about that healthy lifestyle. Over the years she’s told us about Bear’s pooping patterns, how he never gets sick because he’s vegan, and alluded to some anti-vaxxer-lite bullshit. Now, Alicia says she doesn’t need to discipline Bear because his “vegan diet” makes him super well behaved and calm.
Moby Continues To Wear His Heart On His Neck
Moby’s a vegan, or haven’t you heard? He’s literally spelled it out for you. Back in October Moby got “VEGAN FOR LIFE” tattooed on his neck. Then a month later he got fellow vegan Kat Von D to outline the words “ANIMAL RIGHTS” on his forearms, and the month after that, he got those letters filled in. At some point he added a little chicken scratch cross on his face into the mix. And this week, Moby’s showing off his latest acquisition. All of his recent tattoos are text (save the little cross) which makes me wonder if Moby’s working on a second volume of his memoirs only this time he’s self publishing. I know they say don’t judge a book by its cover, but what if the inside is literally full of shit (and blood, guts and bones)?
A Vegan Man Is Suing Burger King For Cooking Their Impossible™ Whopper® On The Same Grill As Meat
Burger King describes its Impossible™ Whopper® as being “100% Whopper, 0% Beef.” And there’s a footnote on their website that says if you’re the kind of vegan who says to a vegan trick right before they give you a beej, “Listen, if you’ve eaten so much as a spoonful of Jell-O or licked the tip of a meat eater’s dick, let’s not do this, because I don’t need your tainted saliva passing into my peen slit and contaminating my vegan temple,” then you need to ask for your Impossible™ Whopper® to not be cooked on their grill. This is what it states on their website:
*For guests looking for a meat-free option, a non-broiler method of preparation is available upon request.
But either that footnote isn’t on menus in restaurants, or a vegan man didn’t read it, because now he’s using the legal system to come for a piece of the King’s booty. No, not that kind of booty! The King’s booty is all beef, and this man is strictly pickly (as in pickles, because they’re green, and aren’t meat. Oh shut up!).
Fellow Vegans Moby And Kat Von D Both Got New Tattoos
In case you somehow missed it before, Moby is vegan. And he’s not one of those rare live and let live, keep it to yourself type of vegans either. No, Moby is a shout it from the rooftops, try to restrict the choices of people on SNAP (food stamps) type of vegans. Thing is, sometimes Moby’s mouth to is too full of bean sprouts and cashew cheese to tell you all about it. So he’s taken measures to ensure that when you see Moby walking towards you down the street, you know well in advance to protect your low-fat latte before he passes you and slaps it out of your hand. Moby got the word A N I M A L tattooed down one arm, and R I G H T S tattooed down the other, in a font so big you can probably see it from space.