TMZ reports that Sarah Palin’s 29-year-old Track Palin is on-track (I had to) to officially become the worst Palin. On Friday night, Alaska State Troopers responded to a report of a disturbance at Track’s home in Wasilla. Track allegedly got violent with a woman at the residence, although it’s not known who the woman is or what her relation to Track is. The Alaska Department of Public Safety (whose motto should simply be: Stay Safe – Stay Away from the Palins) would only describe the woman as an acquaintance.
If the name Gretchen Wilson isn’t ringing any bells, then you maybe didn’t live in the kind of town where “Redneck Woman” was blasted at every wedding, prom, tailgate, family bonfire, or jail-release celebration. But after today, you’ll know Gretchen Wilson as the country singer who proved she wasn’t exactly lying about being trashy n’ proud when she got arrested during an airplane bathroom fight on Tuesday. As someone who has heard Gretchen Wilson provide the soundtrack to many a truck-based gathering, I’m a little shocked that this fight happened in the bathroom of an airplane and not a Walmart. Not very on-brand for Gretchen.
Two weeks ago, Stormy Daniels was arrested while performing at Sirens strip club in Columbus, Ohio for mutual motorboating of a female strip club patron, who later turned out to be an undercover cop. Ohio has a very strict no-touching rule when it comes to strippers. The charges were dismissed 12 hours later, as Stormy isn’t an Ohio stripper, but a guest from out of town.
Not long after Stormy’s arrest, Michael Avenatti accused the Columbus Police Department of setting up a sting. A source told TMZ that Michael was on the right track, and that Stormy had been targeted. The Fayette Advocate now says they’ve been contacted by a whistleblower from the City of Columbus, who provided them with emails proving Stormy was set up.
Stormy Daniels Was Arrested At An Ohio Strip Club For Allegedly Letting An Undercover Cop Motorboat Her (UPDATE)
UPDATE: All the charges against Stormy have been dropped, because the Ohio law is only meant for regular strip club strippers. Stormy was a featured guest dancer. The judge already threw the charges out, and that’s that. Poor “Deric Dump” (see my “joke” below) had to bruise his one brain cell by trying to figure out how to call the cops in Columbus for nothing! The cops also claim that they weren’t targeting Stormy. They were there to look into complaints of drugs and hooking.
Here’s the original story:
The shit Stormy Daniels was put into handcuffs for may have been stupid and a complete waste of everyone’s time, but at least she brought it in her mug shot, and gave that camera heaping servings of beauty, glamour, and intrigue with that yellow-haired Jaqueline Smith Charlie’s Angels seasons 1 hair and those smoky vengeance eyes. Stormy really needs to do a YouTube beauty tutorial showing us how to paint your face up so it remains stunning even under the harsh beauty-hating lighting of a police station.
CNN says that Stormy Daniels, the porn star and one-time fuck partner of Donald Trump (as in, they only fucked once) who is suing him for defamation, was arrested late last night at Sirens strip club in Columbus, OH for letting a customer touch her. The customer happened to be an undercover cop named Officer Mary Prather. Stormy is accused of touching Officer Mary’s ass and breasts before motorboating her. Ohio law states that a stripper who gets naked or semi-naked can only touch a customer if they’re related to that customer. Jabba the Trump is definitely cackling over one of his many rivals getting arrested, but he’s also making a mental note that if for some reason Ivanka has to become a stripper, she needs to do so in Ohio.
None of what I typed in that headline should be surprising to anyone with even the vaguest recollection of Chris Brown. What might be surprising is that it took a whole 15 months for Chris Brown to finally get busted for throwing his fists around.
Last year in April, 29-year-old Chris got into some trouble in Tampa, FL after he allegedly assaulted a photographer at a club. The club’s photographer was reportedly trying to get some crowd shots, and paranoid dust-for-brains Chris thought the photographer was trying to get some sneaky pictures of him. So he allegedly leapt over a couch and punched the photographer in the face. Police were called, but Chris and his bodyguard fled the scene before they could be questioned. That brings us to present day.
Chris played a show at the Coral Sky Amphitheater in West Palm Beach, FL last night. TMZ says that when he was done, he walked off stage and found several police officers waiting to arrest him. Police had reportedly been waiting to catch him since they obtained a warrant for his arrest last year.
People says Chris was arrested for felony battery at around 11:00pm, and taken into custody. He was released after posting $2,000 bail. So far, Chris hasn’t said anything about his arrest on social media, which is pretty strange for him. Maybe he’s still trying to make sense of how confusing and backwards the situation was for him. “Handcuffs? Police? A year later? That’s odd. This usually happens right after I’ve gotten violent on someone. Would it be okay if I try to hit one of you first? I’m kind of a stickler for repetition.”
Pic: Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office
Seeing the words “Farrah Abraham” and “smacking” in the same sentence would usually lead one to believe they were reading the description of her latest appearance on CamSoda. This time we’re dealing with assault.