Category: 2020 Golden Globes
Open Post: Hosted By The Case Of Ace Of Spades Champagne That Jay-Z And Beyonce Gave To Reese Witherspoon
Remember how Beyonce and Jay-Z showed up late to the 2020 Golden Globes and stunted on the room like, “Yeah, and what? We interrupted Ellen; your point?” And they brought their own champagne Armand de Brignac (which Jay-Z owns) even though Moët sponsored the event? Because promo is promo. Well, now he’s got Reese Witherspoon and all her famous friends talking about it on Instagram. It was nice of Beyonce and Jay-Z to take pity upon Laura Jeanne Poon and send her some liquid nourishment, because we all know that she can’t afford it herself. Saints!
Chet Hanks Responded To The Responses He Got For Speaking Jamaican Patois
Chet “Haze” Hanks has all the swagger of that “You Know I Had To Do It To Em” meme come to life. And at the 2020 Golden Globes, Tom Hanks‘ failson Chester decided to show us how he’s grown so far from arguing about his right to use the N-word by speaking in a Jamaican patois accent. I have no idea why, there aren’t any Jamaicans in the Hollywood Foreign Press. I don’t know anyone in the HFP but I already know that fact. Well he’s back to, I guess, explain or defend it? Lord knows. Or as Chet would say: “Lawd nose!”
Rita Wilson’s Hair And Makeup Person Might Have Bailed On Her Last Night
Because my taste in cinema is beyond questionable, Jingle All the Way is hands-down one of my favorite Christmas movies. So if I were to get a call from JAtW star (and also Tom Hank’s wife) Rita Wilson asking to do her hair or makeup for the Golden Globe awards, I would drop whatever I was doing, go on YouTube to watch at least three tutorials (Rita deserves at least three), and show up at least 2 hours early to do the best job I was capable of while trying not to creep her out. Fortunately for Rita, she didn’t have to tolerate the likes of me. Unfortunately, I might have been the best option, because it sounds like the person who was supposed to show up, didn’t.
Sacha Baron Cohen Shit All Over Mark Zuckerberg At The Golden Globes
Ricky Gervais, cockringmaster of the latest celebrity jerk-off fest known as the Golden Globes, started the show by calling out the hypocrites of Hollywood who act all woke yet receive checks from Chinese sweatshop-using companies like Apple (and he said it in front of Tim Cook). Ricky then said that those fraudulent wokies need to stop getting all political in their speeches because his ears are about to fall off from the hypocrisy of it all. The celebrities totally listened! Michelle Williams listened! Patricia Arquette listened! Joaquin Phoenix listened too! And Sacha Baron Cohen definitely listened when he used his time on the Golden Globes stage to once again call out Facebook overlord Mark Zuckerberg for letting the Nazis Nazi it up on your mom’s favorite site to post wine memes on.
Here’s What Joaquin Phoenix Was Trying To Say During His Golden Globes Acceptance Speech
The word “fuck” was said a whole lot during Joaquin Phoenix’s Golden Globes acceptance speech last night. And maybe some of them might have been coming from a jealous Jared Leto at home (“That should have been me, you fuck!“). But most of them came straight from Joaquin’s own mouth. Sadly, if you live in a country that clutches their pearls over naughty language on primetime network TV, like Canada or the USA, you didn’t hear any of them. So much of Joaquin’s speech were left up to interpretation. Luckily, viewers from much cooler countries heard all the fucks that Joaquin dropped, and they were able to fill in the gaps for the rest of us.
Jennifer Aniston Smiled During Brad Pitt’s Golden Globes Speech, Which Means That They’re Totally Back Together
