This week tech billionaires Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg got bored of making the internet a worse place and challenged one another to a cage fight. And while you’d think these two would be too busy running their companies into the ground to take off for this catfight, the only thing that’s supposedly holding up the scrimmage is the height and weight difference between the two rivals.
If you’re in the mood to watch two pasty pale white men with too much money and not enough common sense windmill and slap-kick inside a cage, you’re in luck. Because in this corner, we have tech billionaire Elon Musk, who recently pondered the idea of pummeling Mark Zuckerberg‘s puny face into a mat while onlookers scream, “Fuck Meta!” Then in the other corner, we have Mark, the Big Brother of social media. After Elon sent him a friend request to a potential cage match, Mark graciously accepted this unexpected Verzuz battle that none of us wanted but are soooo glad we’re getting since, collectively, we don’t like either one of them.
Instagram’s CEO Responds After Kim Kardashian And Kylie Jenner Tells The Platform To Stop Trying To Be TikTok
By now if you’re on Instagram you’ll notice that you no longer see pictures of your friends’ babies, or at the beach, or in a cute outfit, or doing whatever glossy thing makes us all pretend our lives aren’t endless chaos of 9-5s and bills. Instead, you’re seeing all these people’s Reels who you’ve never met and aren’t following. And that’s on purpose! Instagram’s CEO admits that the platform is heading towards video after being called out by Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian. They dragged Instagram on their own Instagram Stories prompting the company to basically admit they’re trying to be TikTok. I guess if you want to see pictures of your friends you’ll have to start actually texting them directly.
Sometimes a delightfully cute story goes viral and captures the imagination of a people. Like when a dog rescues a baby or a cat does a funny dance. Unfortunately, today’s story is neither delightful nor cute. It is has gone viral for exactly the opposite. Mark Zuckerberg’s sister Randi Zuckerberg took the 80s Twisted Sister hit We’re Not Gonna Take It and made a cringey music extolling the values of cryptocurrency. Girlboss meets a volatile investment strategy. Yeah!
Yesterday is a day that will go down in tech history forever. It was the day in which crazy aunts were denied their favorite place to spread misinformation about the COVID vaccine being a secret plot to implant 5G chips in our brains. The day high school mean girls across the nation struggled to recruit random strangers to their pyramid scheme business. Facebook, and several Facebook-owned platforms, went dark for about six hours. But it wasn’t just Facebook’s user engagement numbers that dropped but also Mark Zuckerberg’s net worth. The poor man found himself in the embarrassing position of losing $7 billion in one day, which means his net worth is now only (horrified gasp) a paltry $120.9 billion.
ET Canada says that Selena Gomez has come for Facebook and CEO Mark Zuckerberg over the continuous COVID disinformation being spread on the platform. She also got on him earlier in the month over white supremacist merchandise on Facebook and Instagram. Welp, Mark has had celebrities shit on him at the Golden Globes, called for the deletion of everyone’s account, and once boycotted his service for a whole day (how honorable).