Meanwhile…. Reese Witherspoon
mean-mugged Brad Pitt
and was about two glasses of champagne away from unleashing her true self, Laura Jeanne Poon
, to issue a very belated Tennessee-style ass whoopin’ on him for betraying her TV sister many, many years ago.
When Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were both nominated for Golden Globes
(he won, and she lost to Olivia Colman
for The Crown
), all of us (read: none of us) figured it was just an elaborate ruse to get them into the same room again
so they can once and for all rekindle the everlasting love that’s been simmering in the both of them for decades (or maybe that simmering is constant gas from IBS? Who knows!). But the joke’s on all of us. They didn’t need to rekindle their love at the Golden Globes, because they’re obviously back together. The proof: Jennifer smiled and pretended to laugh at his jokes.
There was a time when the mere mention of putting high school-style enemies Taylor Swift and Katy Perry in the same room would have made both of them run for their diaries and glitter gel pens and scribble stuff like, “I’d rather eat cat barf” or “Over my dead body! Actually, that witch would probably enjoy that.” But that time is gone, and Taylor and Katy are on somewhat friendly terms now. Neither wants to slam the other into the lockers, or spit in their pudding. But they might be even better than we thought.