Nina Peterson, a delicate and precious Florida gemstone who claims she’s one of the world’s most successful sugar babies!

If you’ve pulled out your wallet and are throwing money, uncashed checks, credit cards, ATM cards, your Metro card and an expired Applebee’s gift card at that picture of an opulent goddess who looks like an off-brand Muppet based on Toni Braxton (“So, she looks like Tamar Braxton then?” – you), you’re definitely not alone. Nina Peterson has bragged to Barcroft Media (via The New York Post) about how many a rich men have gifted her with lavishness and money, and it has ALLEGEDLY made her one of the most successful blossoms in the SeekingArrangement.com garden. I know, Nina really shouldn’t call herself a sugar baby. Sugar is cheap! She should call herself an Organic Cane Sugar From Whole Foods Baby! She’s that luxurious!

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Helen Hunt (53)
Nadine Coyle (31)
Mary Carey (36)
Elizabeth Reaser (41)
Neil Patrick Harris (43)
Chloe Dao (44)
Andy Pettitte (44)
Poppy Montgomery (44)
Jake Busey (45)
Bif Naked (45)
Leah Remini (46)
Ice Cube (47)
Idalis DeLeon (47)
Courteney Cox (52)
Michèle Laroque (56)
Eileen Davidson (57)
Julie Hagerty (61)
Polly Draper (61)
Jim Belushi (62)
Johnny Hallyday (73)

Pic: Getty

Katie Holmes is still in Toronto where she’s still wearing a polyester Afghan hound wig to play Jackie Kennedy. Jamie Foxx recently made a stop in Toronto while maybe making his way to Montreal. So what does it mean?! Well if the tabloids are right, then Jamie and Katie have been married for a second, she already had their secret love child and so he probably stopped in Toronto to get her to sign divorce papers because their shush marriage has already ran its course – Lainey Gossip 

I see that the union between Lucifer’s minions and the Death Eaters is still live, because there’s a rumor that Anna Wintour is putting Kendull Jenner on the September cover of Vogue – Celebitchy

Fame whore mastermind Pimp Mama Kris is probably putting together yet another TV wedding starring a couple that will last about as long as the last fart I squeezed out – Reality Tea 

Stay in your lane, Ava Sambora. Phoebe Price owns the paparazzi bikini photo shoot game – Drunken Stepfather

Today in DRAG HER, Anderson Cooper repeatedly called out Florida’s Attorney General for suddenly acting like she cares about gay people  – Towleroad

I’m not sure if these pictures of JoJo were taken in 1996 or 2016 – Hollywood Tuna 

Some dude has been lying about being a writer for Broad City to try and get coochie. If it actually worked, it’s probably not going to work anymore – The Superficial 

Hasley brought some truck stop grunge hooker glamour to Bonnaroo – The Nip Slip

Here’s Adam Levine looking like Borat after getting a keratin treatment, and yes, I still would – SOW

America Ferrera wants an Ugly Betty reboot – Starcasm

That panty cream-inducing hot felon is an Instagram model now – Jezebel

Okay, but why does Camila Alves have rope tied around her arm? – Popoholic

Donald Glover is in the new Spider-Man movie but he’s not playing Spider-Man – Pajiba

I know that’s shower steam rising up Batman’s bat crack but it kind of looks like he’s letting out a powerfully hot fart – OMG Blog

This story that Nick Jonas told is nothing without picture proof of his edibles-produced boner (and yes, I Googled) – Just Jared

James Corden brought out his chichis to do some topless carpool karaoke with the Red Hot Chili Peppers – Popsugar

Pic: Splash

That Ohio drew drop in the mug shot above could teach two classes. She could took a course at John Robert Powers on how to serve up 100 proof class in your mug shot. And she could also teach a class at The Learning Annex on how to piss off a judge in one quick and easy step.

Sweet Dee’s Ohio cousin, Mary Jordan, and two fellow delicate rose petals, Ashley England and Sammie Whaley, turned their “You deserve a break today” moment into a  ” You deserve to get handcuffed and jailed” moment when they jumped a McDonald’s employee for allegedly not moving as fast they wanted her to. Cleveland19 says that on June 8, the Trinity of Ohio Classiness was at a McDonald’s in Bellevue with their friends and family when decided that an employee, who doesn’t get paid nearly enough to deal with that kind of shit, was working too slowly. So they attacked the employee in the parking lot.

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The “the steak doesn’t fall far from the beef jerky-faced tree” jokes are too easy.

Sean Penn has two children with Robin Wright: 25-year-old Dylan Frances and 22-year-old Hopper Jack. According to Hopper, the name written on his birth certificate wasn’t his father’s first choice. Hopper tells Interview magazine that if the decision had been left up to Sean Penn, his name would be Steak Penn. Yes, steak like the food. Why? Because Sean Penn apparently really loves steak.

“My dad wanted to name me Steak, the food, because he loves it so much. But my mom was never going to go for it.”

I never really pictured Sean Penn as being a steak kind of guy. I guess I just always assumed that Sean Penn survived on a diet that consists solely of Carolina Reaper hot peppers and popcorn. Peppers to maintain his high levels of white-hot rage, and popcorn to keep him in a constant state of being perpetually agitated. Nothing is more agitating that trying to always feeling like you’ve got a popcorn kernel stuck in between your teeth.

I can’t really shit on Sean Penn for wanting to name his kid after a type of food. When I was a kid, there was a brand of lactose-free milk called Lactancia, and I thought that was just about the most glamorous name I had ever heard and swore I was going to name a child Lactancia. So, I get it, Sean. I don’t condone it, but I understand.

As for why they chose Hopper instead, Hopper says it was because his dad “idolized” Dennis Hopper, and that his mother claims he hopped in her stomach rather than kicked. He didn’t kick? Really? Are we sure he’s actually Sean Penn’s son?

Pic: Splash

Alexander Skarsgard has started pushing that blasphemous loincloth-less Tarzan movie, and today he posed with a bunch of animal friends at the Wild Life Sydney Zoo. Askars let a kangaroo kiss him, he pet an echidna and he had a staring contest with a giant snake. The pictures of ASkars handling a giant snake are the closest I will ever get to seeing him, Jon Hamm and the Hammaconda in a gay porn together.

I want to let my jealousy take over and call that kangaroo a home wrecking skank whore, but I can’t hate on that adorable thing. If ASkars puckered up for me and let me lick him, they’d have to beat me with a boomerang to get me off of him.

Pic: Getty