Mariah Carey is currently in Capri with her billionaire fiancé. The next time someone tries to tell you Mariah is high maintenance, just show them these pictures. I mean, she’s only being assisted down the stairs of that yacht by two helpers, and I’m pretty sure that’s an off-the-rack wet suit – Lainey Gossip

In the event you need to know who former-RHONJ Dina Manzo is currently dating, she’s dating a younger dude she met through her charity – Reality Tea

Piers Morgan thinks Tom Hiddleston’s 4th of July weekend antics with Taylor Swift were “shudderingly uncool.” What’s that thing about a broken clock being right twice a day? – Celebitchy

One of Leonardo DiCaprio’s former model pieces is on the cover of British GQ. I know, I should really be more specific. Um…she’s blonde? Does that help narrow it down? – Hollywood Tuna

Frank Ocean returns!…but just for a Calvin Klein ad – Towleroad

I’m very thankful the audio quality of this video is so bad – Just Jared

Roseanne Barr has some thoughts about those Louis C.K. masturbation allegations – The Superficial

Lindsay Lohan is looking down at her feet like “What the hell are these Herman Munster espadrilles I’m wearing?” – Drunken Stepfather

Kevin Gnapoor from Mean Girls is a bad-ass calligrapher now – Huffington Post

I’d say Gigi Hadid should have a talk with Zayn Malik about those tragic sweatpants, but she’s not exactly in the position to be giving anyone fashion advice – Popsugar

Retro bulge alert! – OMG Blog

The rumor that Justin Bieber is banging the Kardashian with all the kids is back again – Starcasm

Personally, I’d like to see Left Shark in the titular role of Jaws – Pajiba

Here’s Sarah Paulson looking ~moody~ and topless for W magazine – (NSFW) The Nip Slip

ABC sent Uncle Buck to the sitcom graveyard – SOW

Emily Ratajkowski is in a bikini again – Popoholic

Wendy Williams’ face while trying to think of what NAACP stands for is my face every time I try to spell “Emily Ratajkowski” without looking it up – Boy Culture

Trash poses for trash – WWTDD

Speaking of photoshoots, Ashley Tisdale booked one – Egotastic

Pic: Splash

If you found yourself looking at any one of Taylor Swift’s totally natural and not-at-all staged shots from her recent friend-filled 4th of July party and wondered who the hell was taking the pictures, you’re not alone. I assumed the person behind the camera was a squad member who was put there by Taylor as a form of punishment for wearing their hair in a ponytail two days in a row. But apparently that’s not so.

The Daily Mail decided to get to the bottom of this very important mystery, and they’ve discovered that the person taking Taylor’s too-perfect pictures is – wait for it – a professional photographer! That loud whooshing sound you just heard was the entire population of the earth gasping in complete shock. Taylor Swift? Manipulating the media? She would never!

The Daily Mail got out their magnifying glasses and took a closer look at those pictures of Taylor frolicking in the ocean with a truly-not-loving-himself Tom Hiddleston and her friends over the weekend, and they spotted a guy following them around with a professional camera. Not in a creepy “Is that guy following us?” way, either. He appeared to be with them. Then, back at Taylor’s giant million-dollar dream house the next day, another photographer was seen talking to Taylor before she began her next round of posing.

The Daily Mail has photos of the photographers. In case you can’t identify someone with a huge expensive camera as a professional photographer, they’ve circled them all Where’s Waldo? style. I’m sure all of those pictures are being printed out and put into a folder marked “PROOF” by the conspiracy theorists who believe Taylor and Tom’s relationship is nothing but an elaborate music video.

Are we honestly that surprised that Taylor Swift would hire professional photographers to document her famous friend hang-outs? Frankly, I’d be more surprised if she didn’t. You can’t get that crystal-clear catalogue realness with a basic iPhone camera. “Gosh darn it, Gigi – the resolution is so low, you can barely tell that I’m holding hands with Karlie. Like, how else are people supposed to know we’re best friends? Take it again.”

Pic: Instagram

I love the late summer/early fall push magazines make because it means more ads. And more ads means more of those fold-out perfume things, which is always the icing on the cake for a night out. It also means they get big celebs pushing whatever it is they want to hawk. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Gwen Stefani has mostly been selling us her and Blake Shelton‘s romance, and by proxy, her latest album. Well, she’s at it again!

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If Pretty Woman was remade in heaven and God did the casting, costume design and directing, that’s what Vivian Ward would look like….

On Fourth of July night in the area surrounding Malibu, doctors weren’t only dealing with dumb fucks who blew off their hands in fireworks accidents. They also had to deal with humans who needed their anus rings sewed back on, because that shit puckered itself off from taking in the hotness and glamour of Magic Johnson’s greatest creation: EJ Johnson!

EJ and that blondie from his reality shit show (aka the blondie you’re not paying attention to because EJ’s beauty is taking up all of your attention) strut their asses into a party in Malibu, CA on the Fourth of July, and it’s a miracle of science that these pictures even came through. You’d think that the paparazzi’s cameras would immediately break and their lenses would crack into thousands of pieces because they wouldn’t be able to handle the potent rays of elegance shooting off of EJ in those fuck-me-hard-and-just-walk-away boots.

EJ’s look is very “Grace Jones as a high-class lot lizard who never works because johns can’t afford her” and that look IS beyond the look. I think I even spot a hard nipple. Catch me I’m falling…

Pics: Splash

It’s time to toss a giant handful of penis-shaped confetti and pop that bottle of celebratory lube you were saving, because the day Ciara’s very patient pussy has been waiting for has finally arrived! Less than four months after they got engaged by the light of a professional photographer’s camera kit, E! News has confirmed that Ciara and Russell Wilson got married this afternoon at a fancy-ass castle in Cheshire, England. This is Ciara’s first marriage and Russell Wilson’s second.

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The key word here of course is “might“; Vince Neil is still a famous person, after all. But according to TMZ, it is something that might possibly be in Vince Neil’s future. Back in April, Vince Neil reminded us that Vince Neil is still a mess by getting into a sloppy daytime fight with his friend Nicolas Cage outside of the Aria Hotel in Las Vegas. At the time, sources were telling TMZ that the fight started when Vince allegedly tried to take down a female fan that asked for Nicolas Cage’s autograph. Really rude, Vince. The rest of the Gummi Bears do not approve of such behavior.

Vince claimed that the woman was being aggressive with him and that all he did was push past her. Well, it sounds like Vince Neil did a little more than “push past” the woman. Law enforcement took a look at some security footage from inside the hotel on the day the fight happened, and Vince Neil has been charged with misdemeanor battery. TMZ says he could face up to six months in jail.

This wouldn’t be the first time Vince Neil’s dumb shit antics have potentially set him up for a trip to jail. He’s been there a lot. So at least he’ll know the drill if he does end up there.

The only woman Vince Neil should be getting physical with is a horny Motley Crue groupie, and even then, the only reason he should be putting his hands on her is to remove her high-waisted leather short-shorts. So yeah, he should be in trouble. I just hope that whatever sentence the judge gives him is automatically doubled because of how close this all happened to a Versace store. Yes, I know Nomi Malone’s Versace was technically the one in Caesar’s Palace. But it it feels really wrong to show such a blatant disregard for the place responsible for a Las Vegas icon like Nomi’s ver-sayce dress.

Pic: Wenn.com