Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton are clearly in love, or something, and have been shoving that down our throats for years now. These two will probably, maybe, get married at some point, but in the meantime, they are still sharing their pure love with us. And that’s what Gwen did last night, except she also used the opportunity to pull an “I Don’t Know Her” on her cheating ex-husband Gavin Rossdale by doing the Instagram version of cutting out Gavin’s face from a picture and pasting Blake’s over it. The definition of petty just bowed down to Gwen Stefani.
Moving is hell, everybody knows this. First, you have to look closely at all your shitty shit and chide yourself for having so much shitty shit. Then you have to go steal boxes from the dumpster outside of Safeway and pack all your shit up under the cover of night, load it into a van and pray that the sketchy dude you found on Craigslist to help isn’t a serial killer or a narc. So I can understand why Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton, who according to Us Weekly, are stressed about their “nightmare” move into the newly renovated $13.2 million mansion they bought in May.
Gwen Stefani Is Worried That Gavin Rossdale Is Letting The Kids’ Schooling Slip When They’re With Him
For most of us, being in Qoronatine(™) is difficult enough as it is. And I imagine it’s even harder for parents and kids, and harder still for families who have shared custody arrangements in place. We already know that it’s been a challenge for Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale because Gavin complained about not getting as much time with their sons Kingston (13, presumably renamed Cody with a “K”), Zuma (11, now also answers to Zane), and Apollo (6, goes by Austin now) since they’re having to travel between future stepdad Blake Shelton’s ranch in Oklahoma, and his home in L.A. Sounds awful and unmanageable for everyone involved, yet Gavin made things worse by publicly complaining about the kids possibly bringing country cooties into his house. Now, a source is telling Us Weekly that Gwen thinks Gavin is letting the kids’ schooling slip while they’re with him.
There’s some divorced parents out there who are trying to avoid making a bad situation worse by co-parenting their kids as best as they can in these confusing coronavirus times. Custody agreements are on a temporary hiatus while parents do their best to shuttle kids back and forth on whatever day works (and even that can be difficult to arrange, since time is officially a flat circle that hasn’t existed since March 15). Some parents are going to work it out, but then there are bound to be others that aren’t exactly having the best time corona-parenting. Gavin Rossdale is one of them, and it’s because his kids spend half their time in a completely different state.
Last month, Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton’s four-year-long plans of getting married were put on hold, because Gwen was married once before, to Gavin Rossdale. But Gwen is also very Catholic and so she wanted to get her marriage to Gavin annulled. That way her marriage to Blake would be considered her first in the eyes of the church. Well, Gwen’s desire to get married to Blake might outweigh her Catholic guilt, because Us Weekly is saying that she might go ahead and get married without an annulment after all. Continue reading
My teen self denounced Gwen Stefani as the +~*cOOleST gUuuurrrlL*~+ in the world when she got with the humanization of TruckNutz™ that is Blake Shelton in what I’m still telling myself is a long, long, long con to continue to promote The Voice. Gwen and Blake have been together for over four years, and there’s been wedding rumors ever since. But Gwen still hasn’t walked down an aisle of moose carcasses (hunted by Blake) while wearing a camo dress as he waits for her in a three-piece lumberjack plaid suit under an altar of rifle bullets. And once again, we’re hearing that Gwen and Blake haven’t gotten married because she’s really Catholic and won’t get married until her marriage to Gavin Rossdale is annulled by the church. Uh huh, “really Catholic“? If strict Catholic abuelitas, like my abuelita, ran the church, Gwen wouldn’t have to worry about getting her marriage annulled, because they’d kick out her grande mujerzuela ass for being a sinful hussy slut floozy who shacked up with a man she didn’t marry in the eyes of God!