Robin Tunney Is A Mom Now
This is one that will either elicit a “The lady from The Mentalist had a kid?” or “OMG Sarah Bailey from The Craft had a kid!” I’m in the latter category, so excuse me while I get excited for Sarah Bailey’s big news.
Robin Tunney, aka Sarah from The Craft and Debra from Empire Records, is a first-time mom. 44-year-old Robin announced the news yesterday on Instagram that she had recently given birth to a baby boy that was put inside her by her fiancé Nicky Marmet. The photographer who took her baby’s picture confirmed that her baby’s birthday happened around two weeks ago. Oooh, do I smell another secret baby? Actually, this seems more like an “I was waiting to find the right baby basket for his first newborn photoshoot” situation.
Robin isn’t kidding. She kept very hush about being pregnant; someone else actually announced her pregnancy for her. Which is sad, really, because I believe legend has it that every time a famous person gets knocked up and doesn’t Instagram a picture of the piss stick with the hashtag #ClearblueConfirmed, a celebrity angel loses its private cloud booth in Heaven’s equivalent of The Nice Guy.
Onto that baby’s name! As you can see above, Robin didn’t pay tribute to the two greatest credits on her IMDB page by naming her baby Manon or Shockmi. Robin and Nicky named their new baby Oscar Holly. Oscar is pretty normal. But Holly? That’s an odd choice. And you know it’s bound to be something little Oscar gets real tired of quickly around the holidays. “Oh look, you brought me a sprig of holly…because my middle name is Holly. You know, I think I mention this every year, but I’m really more of a mistletoe person.”
Pic: Splash
Mila Kunis Kind Of Joins The Ranks Of The SANS FARDS Army
The latest issue of Glamour features Mila Kunis saying “bye, bitch” to, as the English call it, slap. For us Americans, that’s makeup. I personally don’t wear makeup, but it’s six billion degrees with 500% humidity today in New York, so I’m going to point every woman I see wearing makeup to the newsstand because there’s no reason to suffer through this heat with a full face.
The sans fards selling point is a bit of a wash in the issue itself. Mila is done up for the cover and inside spread, but she’s working an Alicia Keys-approved #nomakeup look on the back cover. There’s also an “undone-beauty guide” in the magazine. Which is kind of like your parents promising you Six Flags and then taking you to Rye Playland, aka LIES. But they do let Mila push her “I’m normal and chill” schtick.
Kaley Cuoco Is Sorry Her Dogs’ Butts Were On The American Flag
This year’s 4th of July is turning out to be one for the books. We learned what it means to exercise your rights as an American via Christie Brinkley. Taylor Swift showed us what patriotism looks like for the young, rich and in love (with a contract). And then we had a little blip of patriotic controversy courtesy of Kaley Cuoco.
Oscar Pistorius Sentenced To Six Years In Prison For Murdering Reeva Steenkamp
The last time we checked in on Oscar Pistorius, a dude whose face looks like the prototype for every rich suspect on Law & Order: SVU, South Africa’s Supreme Court of Appeals had bumped up his previous conviction of “culpable homicide” to the way more serious conviction of “murder” of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. There was a time (around that “culpable homicide” conviction) where there was talk that Oscar Pistorius wouldn’t feel the cold steel of a prison toilet under his ass. But that time is long gone. BBC News says that earlier today a judge sentenced Oscar Pistorius to six years in prison.
Frances Bean’s Ex-Husband Is Coming For Kurt’s Guitar
It’s time for everyone’s favorite game! Say it with me… I! Feel! OLD! (confetti drops, horns blow, etc). Today’s contestant is Frances Bean! Frances Bean, come on dooooowwwwnnn! Hi, Frances! Some facts for our viewers at home: Frances is 23, her father is the late Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, her mother is national treasure Courtney Love. Frances is recently divorced, and now Frances’s ex-husband is looking to take something very near and dear to the family away: Kurt’s guitar that he played on MTV Unplugged.
That’s right, the grunge queen baby we all remember is not only divorced, she’s going through a messy divorce. She and Isaiah Silva got married last year in a private ceremony that was so private even Courtney wasn’t there. They’d been together for five years prior to that, but eventually got divorced after 21 months of marriage. Seeing as Frances’s inheritance and Kurt’s estate is speculated to be in the neighborhood of $450 million, everyone was guessing that shit would get real nasty with Isaiah trying to grab a chunk of that. But his eyes seem more fixed on a different prize.
According to TMZ, Isaiah – who’s the lead in the band The Eeries – claims Frances gave him Kurt’s famous Martin D-18E guitar from his 1993 MTV Unplugged performance (which is also the last guitar Kurt ever played) as a wedding gift and now he wants to sashay away with it. Which makes sense: grungy musician types would rather walk around with Kurt’s guitar than a big pile of cash or a hefty monthly deposit.
In true Judge Judy fashion, TMZ says that Frances has denied ever giving Isaiah the guitar as a gift, and wants it back. The guitar was once insured for $1 million, but experts think it could be worth way more than that now.
There’s been talk that Frances is seeking to have her premarital assets awarded as separate property so she’s protected, but that she’s open to giving that charlatan spousal support. More importantly, TMZ has video of Courtney’s response to the news of Isaiah trying to take that guitar. Courtney says it’s not his to take. She also says the phrase “treasured family heirloom” approximately 15 times in the short clip. I agree with her on that. I’d also like to respond to Courtney by saying that, you, my dear, are a treasured family heirloom to the human family.
Pic: Splash
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Sarah Louise Bryan’s pubic hair “dress“!
Have you ever taken a shower in a hostel bathroom that hasn’t been cleaned for centuries and looked down at the clump of jizz-encrusted crotch shrub hairs, dead crabs and dampened ass dingles and thought to yourself, “What I wouldn’t give to have that transform into an elegant and demure ensemble?“. Well, Sarah Louise Bryan of the city of Wakefield in England is the Grand Prospect Hall of fashion artistes, because she make your dreams come true.
Sarah became a BREAKING NEWS story when she made a dress out of Skittles (Side note: I wonder how many times her ass heard, “I wanna taste your rainbow.“) and now she’s back with an outfit that’s fit for Cinderella if Cinderella was going to a scat ball and her fairy godmother hated her (and was also on the wrong kind of crack).
Sarah claims that she created a ball gown and a formal bra made out actual and real hair from the heads and genital zones of humans. Months ago, Sarah asked people on Twitter to donate their hair for her project and she tells The Mirror that she got thousands of responses. She spilled out these words about the two-piece that looks like Khloe Kartrashian’s used-up butt waxing strips:
“I decided to make another design following the Skittles dress, I wanted to beat Lady Gaga’s meat dress. I wanted to beat her at the title of most disgusting dress so with the help of asking for pubic hair on Twitter.”
She also claims that it took her months to make:
“I set to work with my eye mask, breathing mask and thickest gloves I could find, because who wants to eat pubic hair? I thought of the design because of how gross it is. I thought what would be the worst thing to have on your dress.”
Who wants to eat pubic hair? I guess Sarah has never been on Craigslist, because I am 100% sure there’s an ad somewhere on there from someone looking to eat pussy bush hairs. And if Sarah wanted to make the grossest and most disgusting dress ever, she should’ve made one out of Affliction t-shirts and CROCS. I was going to call this the most elegant ensemble ever, but I can’t, because Sarah didn’t make a delicate necklace out of the crabs she found in all that pubic hair.
Pics: Facebook, @Itssarahbryan