Open Post: Hosted By EJ Johnson Causing A B-Hole-Puckering Frenzy In Malibu

July 6, 2016 / Posted by:

If Pretty Woman was remade in heaven and God did the casting, costume design and directing, that’s what Vivian Ward would look like….

On Fourth of July night in the area surrounding Malibu, doctors weren’t only dealing with dumb fucks who blew off their hands in fireworks accidents. They also had to deal with humans who needed their anus rings sewed back on, because that shit puckered itself off from taking in the hotness and glamour of Magic Johnson’s greatest creation: EJ Johnson!

EJ and that blondie from his reality shit show (aka the blondie you’re not paying attention to because EJ’s beauty is taking up all of your attention) strut their asses into a party in Malibu, CA on the Fourth of July, and it’s a miracle of science that these pictures even came through. You’d think that the paparazzi’s cameras would immediately break and their lenses would crack into thousands of pieces because they wouldn’t be able to handle the potent rays of elegance shooting off of EJ in those fuck-me-hard-and-just-walk-away boots.

EJ’s look is very “Grace Jones as a high-class lot lizard who never works because johns can’t afford her” and that look IS beyond the look. I think I even spot a hard nipple. Catch me I’m falling…

Pics: Splash

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