Earlier this year, there was a very grainy video showing Kanye West doing what he does best; yelling at people. But Kanye allegedly got a little handsy with a fan who had been seeking his autograph for a few days. And instead of ignoring the fan, there was a bit of an altercation that lead to the police having to become involved in the matter.  Now months later Kanye can breathe a bit easier since there will be no further investigation into the incident.

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Today in “WTF Girl? Humanity Has Really Made A Wrong Turn” news: a Black A.I. rapper, FN Meka, created by non-Black people, who raps the N-word, was signed to and then immediately dropped from Capitol Records after the internet said: “We literally do not have time for this.” Meet: FN Meka, the racially stereotyped augmented reality entity that is probably going to one day join a computer hive mind and kill us all.

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When most of us think of undesirable but required day-to-day burdens, it’s usually things like having to come up with a way to respond to the co-worker who walks in late with an iced coffee every morning and asks, “hey there! Working hard, or hardly working?” without choke-slamming them or having to get back out of bed after retiring for the evening because you just remembered that you didn’t move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. But, from 2001-2008 for former Girls Next Door star/Hugh Hefner girlfriend, Holly Madison, it was having to lower herself onto his stagnant old wrinkled microwaved hot dog while other girls who hated her looked on and commented. Holly and fellow Girl Next Door, Bridget Marquardt, launched a podcast and have been discussing the encumbrance of having sex with the elderly Playboy founder.

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Today, we must finally rip the title of “R&B King” away from Bobby Brown and rightfully hand the bouquet of flowers and sash to Usher, because he’s tired of everyone not putting respect on his name when it comes to who the true King is. And since he’s been singing and spinning across stages since before he was old enough to drive Usher demands his subjects give him the title now and bury this topic once and for all.

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David Rush, the extremely talented human who just broke the Guinness World Record for blowing up the most balloons with his nose holes in 60 seconds!

Yesterday’s HSOTD was an extremely useful invention that came from the creative mind of a true genius. I’m talking about the world-changing hot dog straw! Well, today’s HSOTD keeps with the theme of Look At All The Beautiful Things Humanity Can Do. David Rush is a project manager by day and by night he’s a Guinness World Record athlete. David has broken over 250 Guinness World Records including one for the most consecutive frisbee catches and most sweetcorn kernels eaten with a cocktail stick in 1 minute. David has been HSOTD not once, but twice before thanks to him breaking the Guinness World Records for balancing the most rolls of toilet paper on his head (101 rolls) for 30 seconds, and for holding the most lit candles in his mouth (100 candles) for 30 seconds. And now David is a thrice-time HSOTD. Besides Phoebe Price, David Rush IS the most talented being to ever grace Dlisted.

David recently added a new record to his long list of records. He was able to use his nose holes to blow up 10 balloons in just 60 seconds. This is not to be confused with Charlie Sheen’s unofficial Guinness World Record of snorting up the most 8-balls in just 60 seconds.

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