Category: Oh Really Now?
Amal Clooney Says Her 5-Year-Old Son Wants Putin In Jail
Normal, poor people’s babies wake up in the middle of the night screaming because they’ve shit their pants or they’re just assholes. But babies with very wealthy, good-looking parents who’ve dedicated their lives to philanthropy and social justice must wake up in the middle of the night in an apoplectic fit over the state of the world in #thesetryingtimes. By the time those poor, shitty diaper babies reach the age of reason, they’re really only interested in one thing, and that’s themselves. Ask any random five-year-old on the street about the war in Ukraine, and you’re likely to get a response that might range from a blank stare to a well-deserved kick to the shins because you know damn well you have no business walking up to random five-year-olds on the street! Seriously, what is wrong with you? But, if you ask George and Amal Clooney’s five-year-old son Alexander about the current geo-political crisis that’s unfolding in Europe, he’s gonna tell it to you straight— Vladimir Putin belongs in jail!
A Virtual Rapper Was Signed To Capitol Records And Then Dropped Over Racial Stereotypes
Today in “WTF Girl? Humanity Has Really Made A Wrong Turn” news: a Black A.I. rapper, FN Meka, created by non-Black people, who raps the N-word, was signed to and then immediately dropped from Capitol Records after the internet said: “We literally do not have time for this.” Meet: FN Meka, the racially stereotyped augmented reality entity that is probably going to one day join a computer hive mind and kill us all.
Renée Zellweger Said That Anti-Aging Products Are Garbage And That Women Should Embrace Getting Older
Now that Renée Zellweger is a few years into her 50s, it’s high time for her to hit that Jane Fonda stroll and wax poetic over how amazing getting older is and that everyone needs to stop dreading it or trying to turn back the clock. If you were wondering what the only other option for women in Hollywood on deck to receive constant AARP mailings is, it’s claiming that what keeps you looking super smooth and young is just drinking lots of water and slathering yourself in olive oil and absolutely nothing else, right Jennifer Lopez Affleck?
Ever since 2014 when Renée re-emerged on a red carpet looking uncharacteristically wide-eyed and less squinty, rumors swirled that she had plastic surgery to open up her signature droopy eyelids. While she denied it in interviews and an op-ed, anyone who had eyes more ajar than her originals could see that something had changed. Apparently, Renée is still trying to make au naturel happen. The Sunday Times recently interviewed 53-year-old Renée, and she says that she’s come to a point in her life where she feels comfortable in her (untouched, according to her) skin and thinks that anti-aging beauty projects belong in the trash.
A Former Liberty University Student Says He Was “Aggressively” Pursued By Becki Falwell
Bible-thumping asshole spawn Jerry Falwell Jr. and his wife Becki Falwell have built a career off of looking like the picture-perfect traditional conservative family. But it turns out the whole thing was a real-life Righteous Gemstones-like existence, with Jerry Jr. acting a fool on social media, which was followed by an accusation that Becki liked to thump her goodies against a young dude while Jerry watched from the corner. And now yet another man has come forward claiming Becki went after him but this one sounds less like a Christian Mrs. Robinson situation and much, much darker than that.
Superman Might Have Accidentally Pissed On Someone’s Head At Three In The Morning
Henry Cavill has finally stopped burping up at the mouth about his 19-year-old girlfriend and #OscarsSoWhite and is talking about a topic many of us really care about: his naked ass body. Henry was on Late Night with Seth Meyers (via E!) last night and told the tale of how he ended up giving a golden shower show at the top of a Los Angeles hotel at three in the morning. Don’t worry, a Kartrashian was not involved.