Madonna is supposed to make another grand return to pop music in the remix for Dua Lipa’s song Levitating along with Missy Elliott, but well, Dua’s people may be scrambling to replace her vocals with Kylie Minogue, Janet Jackson, Jan Terri (Dua WISHES!), Stacey Q (again, Dua WISHES!), or literally anybody else in the pop game. Because yesterday, Madonna went from the Queen of Pop to the Queen of Breitbart when she endorsed a bogus COVID-19 cure video that Instagram even flagged as bogus. And here some of us were thinking that the most brain-rattling thing Madonna would do during this quarantine would be her musical ode to fried fish and calling the virus the “great equalizer“, but she outdid herself by peeking out of the COVID-19 truther closet. The Queen of Reinvention just keeps reinventing herself!
Influencer fuckery strikes again, and this one comes from Russia and is a case of a woman marrying the dude she raised for over half of his life. Totally normal! This makes that staged motorcycle accident for an Instagram ad look quaint.
Before I went to bed last night, I read the headline that Zooey Deschanel has gotten with Jonathan Scott. And since I only know Jonathan Scott by his official legal name of Property Brother #1 (or is he Property Brother #2?), it took me a quick second to realize who he is. But when I did, I sniffed my glass of wine to see if my dog drugged me with some kind of fucked-up mind-bending substance that was causing me to hallucinate weird things like Quirky’s favorite ambassador getting with a Property Brother. It’s real, though, and Zooey and Jonathan brought on a thousand question marks when they hit the stroll together.
Remember how we told you about the slice made entirely of pizza crusts being sold at an Italian restaurant in New Jersey? Well, here’s a pizza with everything in the middle cut out leaving exclusively the fully-intact outer crust. That’s the pizza choice of Jadakiss.
Belle Delphine, the “Gamer Girl” who was selling her own bath water to
freaks with too much money “Gamer Boys” on the Internet, is now the topic of even more discussion. While the rumor about her bath water giving 50 people herpes turned out to be a huge lie, there’s now another rumor that the water itself is the scam. GASP! Fake bath water?! Who–and I cannot stress this enough–WHO could have seen this coming? Truly only a psychic. Or maybe a “micro-biologist” because that’s who’s claiming the water is fake.
So, there’s a lot going on here. I’d previously read about this story of an Instagrammer selling her bath water (listen: who hasn’t?) to “thirsty gamer boys” but did you know there was a herpes rumor twist? Of course there is.
Belle Delphine, who has 4 million followers on Instagram and 400,000 subscribers on YouTube, sold her bath water to people through her website and people bought it (why did I go to university?). Afterwards, a rumor began about people who had allegedly contracted herpes because of the bath water purchased. Well don’t worry, it was just a rumor! So you can feel free to drink up all the dirty bath water purchased over the internet that you want!