A New Lawsuit Accuses Kanye West’s Donda Academy Of Violating Health And Safety Regulations And Only Allowing Sushi For Lunch
Kanye West’s unaccredited K-12 Christian private school, Donda Academy, in Simi Valley, CA, opened last year, and things have been messy ever since. It was reported that Kanye makes the parents of his school, where tuition is reportedly $15,000 a year, sign NDAs. People also threw side-eyes at the fact that the school’s principal, Brianne Campbell, is an actress and choir director and has no formal experience as an educator. And last October, one teacher, who is Jewish, resigned over Kanye’s antisemitism. Now the school is facing a lawsuit from two former teachers for racial discrimination and wrongful termination. In their lawsuit, the former teachers air all the dirty details going on behind closed doors. And I literally mean dirty cause, apparently, there are no janitors at the school! The two teachers, Cecilia Hailey and Chekarey Byers, state that they were Donda Academy’s only Black teachers and were fired after they complained about the school’s dreadful conditions. They claim that Kanye’s school “violated education, health and safety codes, terminated educators based on race and retaliation, and failed to fully pay teachers.” And here’s the special Kanye twist- the school serves sushi every single day for lunch and only sushi. Any outside food is banned. The lawsuit claims that Donda Academy spends $10,000 a week on sushi. No wonder their teachers aren’t getting fully paid- all the tuition money is going toward maki tuna!
If you own a cat in England or Scotland, beware. There’s a phantom cat shaver on the loose! Some strange person with an apparent cat hair aversion is wandering the streets of the UK, giving felines a shave and a haircut without their permission. Local pet lovers and authorities are baffled, and, unfortunately, the perpetrator is still on the loose. I wish this story were an April Fool’s Day joke because no pussy should involuntarily go hairless!
As if having Elon Musk’s children wasn’t embarrassing enough, Grimes has changed her second child’s name to Y. Grimes tried to change the poor kid’s name to just “?” but the government wouldn’t allow it. Honestly, ? is a perfect name since it doubles as our reactions to this news. It also represents the look on teachers’ faces when they read their daughter’s name off of their clipboard for the first time. Actually, “?” just about sums up most of our feelings towards Grimes’ life choices in the past few years.
The Black Eyes Peas may have retired from playing their hit song My Humps live more than a decade ago, but that doesn’t mean a trick won’t sue over copyright infringement for it. The 2005 song from their fourth album, Monkey Business, changed the landscape of body-part-related songcraft–I mean, it hits all the parts! What are “my humps” exactly? Anything, everything, whatever part you want them to be. Although, it is certainly not unicorn poop–at least, not unlicensed unicorn poop. Publisher BMG is suing MGA Entertainment over its Poopsie Slime Surprise toys which used a parody version of My Humps called My Poops. Just when you thought the artistic integrity of My Humps couldn’t get lower–Enter: My Poops.
Move over, Chia Pet! Get outta here, Snuggie! This year’s novelty Christmas gift is here! Are you a teddy bear fan but wished upon a star that they were more human-like? Your dream has come alive in the form of Loving Bear Puffy. Yes, this 5’7” bear with the body of a burly man and an ass that won’t quit is available for snuggles and terrifying anyone who visits your apartment!
Today in “WTF Girl? Humanity Has Really Made A Wrong Turn” news: a Black A.I. rapper, FN Meka, created by non-Black people, who raps the N-word, was signed to and then immediately dropped from Capitol Records after the internet said: “We literally do not have time for this.” Meet: FN Meka, the racially stereotyped augmented reality entity that is probably going to one day join a computer hive mind and kill us all.