Open Post: Hosted By The Lifetime Version Of Justin Timberlake
The future Emmy-sweeping biopic of my Cheetos dust-covered dreams, Lifetime’s Britney, isn’t going to grace our television screens until 2017 and that is a long time away. (Not to mention, that if “President Trump” becomes a real thing, it’ll be a little difficult to watch Lifetime’s Britney after fire falling from the sky torches our houses and TVs.) But Lifetime has already let us know that their Britney Spears biopic will be the television event of 2017 by releasing the first picture of their Justin Timberlake. The actors must be working pro brono, because it’s obvious that Lifetime used their entire budget on that gorgeous wig. Although, that’s not hard to do since Lifetime’s budget was probably a Party City coupon and whatever change was in the ash tray of the network president’s car.
Ann Coulter Bailed On A Scheduled Appearance On Chelsea Handler’s Show
If Chelsea Handler didn’t need a calming vodka and lavender tub soak after last week, she’s going to this week. If you watch Chelsea’s Netflix show, you know that she has a major political boner for Hillary Clinton. In order to be a little less biased, Chelsea booked Donald Trump supporter Ann Coulter to talk about her latest waste of paper and ink, In Trump We Trust. Well, Ann called in “sick” and you can guess how happy Chelsea was about that.
Hmmm… I Guess Taylor Swift Needs More Material For Her Next Album
And that is definitely the look from a swan pool toy who so badly wants to throw itself off of that edge.
A couple of weeks ago, Calvin Harris released what many thought was a Taylor Swift diss track, and for reasons that only her PR Team knows of, she didn’t respond by rushing out her new single: a cover of Hey Mr. DJ called Hey Mr. DJ, Go Fudge Yourself (she’s not trying to get that parental guidance label). But TMZ says that the two julienned pieces of unseasoned cauliflower stalk don’t hate each other anymore. They’re texting each other again and the texts from Calvin don’t say: I h8 U and if we did more than hump each other over our bed clothes I would’ve given you THE CLAP and been happy about it!
Britney Spears Talked About Her Conservatorship A Little
Every Starbucks in England has filed for an emergency bailout of much-needed supplies because they are out of everything and that could mean only one thing: Britney Spears is over there! Brit Brit is in London where so far she’s busted out her flawless lip-synch act during the Apple Music Festival and did The Jonathan Ross Show. Brit Brit’s interview with Wossy (look at me speakin’ Brit-esh!) taped yesterday (it’ll air on October 1st) and according to a couple of people who were in the audience, she went off script a bit. Brit Brit actually said the word “conservatorship” out loud. And when she did, London the Dog’s ear’s perked up, the hairy pussy strip on Adnan Ghalib’s chin fell off and her old pink wig threw itself off of its wig head at the Smithsonian. It’s at the Smithsonian, right?
Ben Affleck Really Wants To Get Divorced
Damn, Ben Affleck looks tense. Either he’s trying really hard not to look back at the nanny, or he’s the type of guy who immediately goes into flex mode when he notices that someone is looking at him. My guess is: both. But it could also be because he’s getting frustrated that a lot of his conversations with Jennifer Garner begin with “Hey, so…about that divorce.”
Emily Blunt’s Least-Favorite Hollywood Word Is “Likable”
It’s too bad The Hollywood Reporter couldn’t secure Jessica Fletcher, who is obviously the number-one spot on that 25 Power Authors list, for a cover shoot. Since she’s too busy solving murders on the east coast to pose for pictures, they got the next best thing, which is apparently The Girl on the Train author Paula Hawkins and Emily Blunt. Emily stars in the film adaptation of The Girl on the Train. I haven’t read the book, but I did watch the trailer. Emily’s character Rachel is an always-drunk who can’t stop stalking her ex-husband and maybe might have murdered someone. Some might describe her character as “unlikable.” But don’t call her that around Emily Blunt. Emily Blunt hates that word.