Hmmm… I Guess Taylor Swift Needs More Material For Her Next Album

September 29, 2016 / Posted by:

And that is definitely the look from a swan pool toy who so badly wants to throw itself off of that edge.

A couple of weeks ago, Calvin Harris released what many thought was a Taylor Swift diss track, and for reasons that only her PR Team knows of, she didn’t respond by rushing out her new single: a cover of Hey Mr. DJ called Hey Mr. DJ, Go Fudge Yourself (she’s not trying to get that parental guidance label). But TMZ says that the two julienned pieces of unseasoned cauliflower stalk don’t hate each other anymore. They’re texting each other again and the texts from Calvin don’t say: I h8 U and if we did more than hump each other over our bed clothes I would’ve given you THE CLAP and been happy about it!

A source tells TMZ that a hot second after Tay Tay’s publicist closed the file on her relationship with Tom Hiddleston, she and Calvin began texting back and forth. The source also wanted to nail a few “facts” into our brains. They say that Tay Tay and Cal Cal aren’t back together, they haven’t talked on the phone and they haven’t seen each other’s faces live and in person. But they are done with that This Is What You Came For drama and are friendly again. As for that supposed diss track, the source says he’s not hating on Taylor in that song, he’s hating on a subject that’s much more interesting: his old grocery store job.

There’s been buzz Calvin’s new single, “My Way,” is about getting over Taylor, but that had nothing to do with their decision to bury the hatchet. Besides, we’re told it’s really inspired by his old job at a grocery store.

I see what’s going on here. Taylor is probably writing her new album and is having trouble since her relationships with Calvin and Tom were so damn boring, even for her. So she texted Calvin to stir up some drama she can work with. Either that or Taylor leaked this BREAKING NEWS story herself since it’s been much too long (read: like 11 hours, probably) since she’s seen her name on TMZ and she was starting to get withdrawals. You know, I had a blood test this morning so I couldn’t drink coffee. I was as limp and weak as a geriatric zombie’s soft dick, but as soon as a drop of coffee hit my tongue, the sky opened up, the sun’s rays gently caressed my face and I was back in the land of the living again! That’s probably how Taylor felt when she saw her name on TMZ again today. Welcome back, Tay!

And here’s Taylor leaving her apartment yesterday with that dreadful banged mop on her head. I have a feeling that Taylor will change her hairstyle soon. It’s probably really annoying when Taylor’s housekeeper grabs her, turns her upside down, dips her in a bucket of vinegar and water and mops the kitchen floor with her. In defense of Taylor’s housekeeper, it’s an easy mistake to make.

Pics: Instagram,

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or get into long-ass fights, or go way off topic when not in an Open Post. Also, promoting adblockers is not allowed. And some comment threads will be pre-moderated, so it may take a second for your comment to show up if it's approved.

alt="drupal analytics" >