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Pic: Teen Beat (ha)

Here’s Nicole Kidman and Dev Patel at the London premiere of their movie Lion. She looks like a shellacked porcelain doll and he looks like the mad wizard who brought her to life and is showing her the stars for the first time. What I’m trying to say is that I’m going to need them to star in the Mannequin reboot together – Lainey Gossip

Luke Evans, who once talked about his love of peen and then stopped talking about his love of peen, is really done with talking about his love of peen – Celebitchy

Bethenny Frankel’s Tribeca apartment sold for $7 million in one day. I know ONLY $7 million in Tribeca. Must be a starter studio – Reality Tea

Joanna Krupa really didn’t use enough filters on this ass pic – Drunken Stepfather

Oh, let’s remember the simpler times when Ivanka Trump slipped a nip on the runway – (NSFW) The Nip Slip

“This new Rogue One trailer is for losers.” – Alex Trebek – The Superficial

“HA HA!” at this BMW-driving douche – Hollywood Tuna

Finally some good news, Planet Earth 2 is coming and it’s got sloths in it – Pajiba

Please tell me Robby is going to be the Prince Charming in the second season of Finding Prince Charming – Towleroad

Oh, it’s just Lea Michele trying to do sexyface again in a magazine – Popoholic

Bella Thorne wants to do Demi Lovato – OMG Blog

Nancy O’Dell and her husband are done after 11 years – Just Jared

That Zac Efron-alike who plays a gay porn star in King Cobra is with Luke Evans in the section marked: I Don’t Want To Talk About If I Love Peen Or Not – Boy Culture 

When DMing goes wrong, Andy Cohen accidentally tweeted who the Housewives are voting for    – Starcasm

Pic: Wenn.com

David Arquette might give off the laid-back goofus vibe of a dude who always forgets to wear condoms and keeps knocking up randoms, like “Whoopsies! Looks like I’m someone’s pop again!“.  But 45-year-old David only has two kids, and very soon he’ll have three. David announced on Instagram last night that his wife Christina Arquette is pregnant with their second child. David and Christina already have a 2-year-old son named Charlie West, and Charlie is getting a little brother.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLe9zI7DJl2/?taken-by=davidarquette

David’s new baby will also have a half-sister; David’s 12-year-old daughter Coco, who we all probably know he made with Courteney Cox. It’s probably best that David didn’t announce his wife’s new baby in the current most-popular celebrity baby announcement way, because it would be wrong wrong wrong to let Charlie kiss a Clearblue test stick.

I can already feel Michael K’s soul cringing at David’s use of the term “over the moon” to describe how excited he is that his wife is knocked up again. But I’m more focused on the fact that this means David will now have two kids under the age of three. And it’s not like he can escape by going to work at his bar. No matter where he goes, he’ll be dealing with crying messes. Tears, tantrums, and barf around bedtime at home. Tears, tantrums, and barf around last call at the bar. At least the people throwing tantrums at his house will be cute.

Pic: Wenn.com

Alex Trebek is now facing the wrath of the nerds, which is going to be really awkward for him since only nerds go on Jeopardy! During the always weird “interview” part of Jeopardy! last night, a Lisa Loeb-looking contestant named Susan Cole spit out a description of her favorite kind of music. Susan is into something called nerdcore hip-hop, which to me, sounds like the kind of music you’d play at your party if you wanted everyone to leave your party immediately.

Susan Cole explained to Alex that nerdcore hip-hop is basically hip-hop for nerds, to which that stache-less asshole practically made an L with his fingers on his forehead.

World's biggest savage, Alex Trebek, called a @Jeopardy contestant a "LOSER" last night https://t.co/sXn85dtCuH pic.twitter.com/EApH3d6Beg

— KiSS 92.5 (@KiSS925) October 13, 2016

Yes, Alex called her a loser, but him hating on nerdcore hip-hop like that will make complete sense to you after I tell you that nerdcore hip-hop is Sean Connery’s favorite type of music.

Susan Cole ended up winning Jeopardy!, so who’s the loser now, Alex? (“Susan Cole still is.” – That Bitch Alex)

Shortly after all of our ears were molested by that tape of Donald Trump bragging about how he forces his grossness on women, there were reports that the producers of The Apprentice have EXPLOSIVE footage of him mouth farting out the n-word on set. That news made me shrug and say, “Err, you mean, he hasn’t already used that shit in a rally?” Buzzfeed heard from sources that Mark Burnett, the producer of The Apprentice series, was threatening to sue the asshole off of anyone who dared leak the tapes. Everyone involved in the making of The Apprentice signed a contract that states they will be hit with a $5 million fee if they leak any footage. Mark Burnett was also called “Pro-Trump” by Buzzfeed. Mark Burnett has now come out and said that yeah, he’s known for putting his name on a lot of shitty shit (see: the Ben-Hur remake, etc…), but he has not put his name on the list of people who endorse Trump.

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Taylor Swift doesn’t currently have a boyfriend in her life, which means she’s got a whole lot more time for her girl squad until the next one comes around. Last night, the most popular slice of Wonder Bread in the bag went to a private Kings of Leon concert in NYC with longtime squad members Lorde, Martha Hunt, Lily Donaldson, and Cara Delevingne. And she also brought out her new recruits.

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