David Arquette might give off the laid-back goofus vibe of a dude who always forgets to wear condoms and keeps knocking up randoms, like “Whoopsies! Looks like I’m someone’s pop again!“. But 45-year-old David only has two kids, and very soon he’ll have three. David announced on Instagram last night that his wife Christina Arquette is pregnant with their second child. David and Christina already have a 2-year-old son named Charlie West, and Charlie is getting a little brother.
David’s new baby will also have a half-sister; David’s 12-year-old daughter Coco, who we all probably know he made with Courteney Cox. It’s probably best that David didn’t announce his wife’s new baby in the current most-popular celebrity baby announcement way, because it would be wrong wrong wrong to let Charlie kiss a Clearblue test stick.
I can already feel Michael K’s soul cringing at David’s use of the term “over the moon” to describe how excited he is that his wife is knocked up again. But I’m more focused on the fact that this means David will now have two kids under the age of three. And it’s not like he can escape by going to work at his bar. No matter where he goes, he’ll be dealing with crying messes. Tears, tantrums, and barf around bedtime at home. Tears, tantrums, and barf around last call at the bar. At least the people throwing tantrums at his house will be cute.