“Kissy-Kissy Time” Is Nicole Kidman And Keith Urban’s Code For Sex
Before Nicole Kidman gets busy with her husband Keith Urban, there’s a couple pesky things she needs to take care of first. One, she’s got to check that Keith isn’t in the middle of a flat iron touch-up (you don’t want the friction from a pillow to put a kink in those sexy straight layers). And two, she’s got to make sure her kids don’t bust in on them and destroy their little eyes with the lifetime-scarring sight of mommy naked wrestling daddy.
Nicole admitted during an interview with The Moms at a screening for Lion in New York City last night that when it’s time to do the nasty, she and Keith tell their daughters – 8-year-old Sunday Rose and 6-year-old Faith Margaret – that they need “kissy-kissy time.” Kissy-kissy time sounds like a post-Botox facial exercise given to a patient to verify that they still have feeling in their lip muscles. But to Nicole and Keith, it means uninterrupted alone time. The introduction of kissy-kissy time happens at the 0:15 mark.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgoO0EbInpw
I have a feeling they’ll be forced to think of a new name for kissy-kissy time when their kids get wise to what they’re actually doing, and respond with “Ok Mom and Dad, we’ll just be over here having barfy-barfy time.”
But I like the sound of kissy-kissy time. It’s so whimsical and sweet. And really, kids don’t need to be exposed to the brutal honesty of the situation. They’ll learn when they’re older that it’s not always kissy-kissy time. Sometimes you get happy-screamy time, sweaty-stinky time, or if you’re really unlucky, burny-itchy time.
Here’s more of Nicole wearing some couture by the House of Bathtub Drain Chains at last night’s Lion screening in NYC.
Pics: Wenn.com
Open Post: Hosted By The Plushie Coyote Who Trolled Mimi
The Indiana Pacers already tugged at Mariah Carey’s Spanx by making fun of her magnificent New Year’s Eve performance, and last night the San Antonio Spurs got in on the trolling fun. Coyotes are already sworn enemies of the lambs, but now they really are after one of them went for the Queen of the Lambs.
The Spurs’ mascot, The Coyote, tried to recreate Mimi’s act of messiness during halftime on Tuesday night, but failed. First of all, that ensemble is all wrong, dahling! There’s no sequins and not one rhinestone on that leotard! And Mimi would rather clean JLo’s ass with her butterfly tongue than wear that dreadful Forever 21 faux fur jacket thing. Second of all, that leotard is not tight enough. It should be making The Coyote’s pussy choke so hard that a person in the audience runs up to perform the Heimlich on it. Third of all, The Coyote didn’t even include one of the breakout stars of Mimi’s performance: the faulty earpiece! Nothing’s better than the real thing, I guess.
— San Antonio Spurs (@spurs) January 4, 2017
I was going to say that I bet that demon child Ariana Grande Latte is in that costume, but she’s not. The Coyote is way too tall and has way too much dancing talent to be Ariana Grande.
Soulja Boy’s Feud With Chris Brown Continues, And Now Floyd Mayweather Is Involved
So much for that emotional apology. 24 hours ago, Soulja Boy claimed that he was going to be the one to end the stupid drama he started earlier this week after he liked a photo posted by Chris Brown’s ex Karrueche Tran on Instagram. Soulja Boy said he wanted to stop acting like a dumbass because his mama, who is in the hospital, wasn’t proud of his recent behavior. Soulja Boy’s mama might want to take an extended lap in the therapy pool this afternoon, because her son is acting like an idiot again. Soulja Boy still wants to fight Chris Brown.
The Dude Who Owns Coachella Is An Anti-Gay Climate Change Denier
Bella Thorne (the one in the purple Pretty Woman wig) is the reigning Princess of Coochella (Vanessa Hudgens is the forever queen) and so she must be confused about whether or not to go this year. On one hand, she’s bi-sexual. On the other hand, she really loves getting photographed twirling around in coochie cutters as some band none of us have ever heard of plays. What to do… What to do…
Some of us “boycotted” Coochella a long ass time ago, because we’re way too old to get daytime high on molly while stuck in the middle of a sweaty sea of flower crown-wearing hipsters. (I prefer to get daytime high on molly in the comfort of my own living room, thankyouverymuch.) But now, some may scream BOYCOTT COACHELLA after finding out that its owner hates gays, a woman’s right to choose and the Ozone layer.
A Source Says Brad Pitt Has “Traumatized” His Children
Several weeks ago, Brad Pitt’s team accused Angelina Jolie of emotionally scarring their six children by making the nasty details of their split public. Yesterday we learned that Angie had agreed to Brad’s request to seal the documents pertaining to their custody battle, but not without letting her lawyer Laura Wasser get in one last dramatic dig first. Laura claimed Brad only wanted things sealed because he was terrified the public would know “the truth.” The documents aren’t officially sealed yet, so it shouldn’t exactly comes as a surprised that a source would almost immediately come forward with a not-so-subtle hint about what “the truth” is.
Kim Kardashian Made Her Grand Return To The Ho Stroll
The news reported yesterday that thousands of people who were in a coma miraculously woke up and doctors can’t explain it. There’s now an explanation: Kim Kartrashian hit the ho stroll AND she took her first selfie of 2017. We all have a reason to live in this world again!