It All Makes Sense Now, Brad Pitt Is Terrified We’ll All Learn The Truth!
Angelina Jolie has finally agreed to keep the public from seeing legal documents about her six children. Brad Pitt’s side has been trying to get documents in their wreck of a custody fight sealed ever since Angie’s side filed their temporary custody agreement, making it public. We all learned that Brad has to get randomly drug tested four times a month and that all his visits with his kids are being monitored by a therapist. Brad’s side said that Angie’s side is playing a dirty game and is hurting their children by exposing all their messy shit. In her filing yesterday, Angie’s lawyer, THE QUEEN of celebrity divorces Laura Wasser, dropped a dramatic dingle that’ll make Mulder and Scully jump on a plane headed to Los Angeles. Because the truth is out there and Brad is trying to cover it up!
TMZ says that Angie has agreed with Brad’s request to seal the documents in their custody war, but added that he’s only accusing her of putting their private shit out there, because he’s terrified that the people will learn the truth about him! Both the FBI and DCFS have cleared Brad after investigating his alleged abusive drunk ways, but Laura makes it seem that there’s stuff in their reports that will make him look worse.
According to legal docs, filed by Laura Wasser, Brad is lashing out because he’s “terrified that the public will learn the truth [and is trying to] deflect from [his] own role in the media storm which has engulfed the parties’ children.”
She goes on … “There is little doubt that [Brad] would prefer to keep the entire case private, particularly given the detailed investigations by the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Dept. of Children and Family Services into allegation of abuse.”
When Scully and Mulder get on the case, they’ll probably discover that the truth is that Brad and Angie are both narcissistic bags of crazy and By The Sea really was a documentary.
Laura Wasser and Brad’s lawyer Jeff Spiegel should write for soap operas on the side because they are masters at creating a real cliffhanger! What’s got Brad shaking with terror? Did he scream, “And you know what, I really don’t like wearing head-to-toe black with you people,” on the plane? Was he overheard saying that he really feels his best movie is Cool World (he’d be right)? Or was he caught snuggling with and kissing on a Smart Water bottle that was covered with Aveeno lotion and had a Rachel Green wig on it?
I’m sure “sources close to Angelina” will leak the terrifying truth sooner or later.
Here’s riveting pictures of St. Angie and the child army arriving in L.A. after visiting Heidi Montag’s homeland.
