Back in November, 21-year-old Kendall Jenner showed up in a Facebook Live makeup tutorial with her sister Kylie Jenner. Kendall had returned from a social media break, and it appeared that one of the souvenirs she brought back from her little vacation away was a set of new lips. Kylie tried to silence the rumor that Kendall got lip injections by claiming she over-lined Kendall’s lips. I’m happy that Kylie thought of the environment and decided to recycle one of her old excuses.

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When those of us who know about algae look at that screen shot, we see a pond that looks like Johnny Depp just took his annual bath in it. All slimy, nasty and filled with shit. But when Digby the dog looked before him, he saw a glorious lawn of green grass for him to frolic on. And poor Digby learned the hard way that sometimes nature tricks you in a good way (like when the dick looks teeny while soft but grows to the size of a mini baguette when hard) and sometimes it tricks you in a bad way (like thinking algae is grass).

Digby and his human were going for a walk in the park when he saw a flock of ducks having a kiki over yonder and decided to fuck with them. But the joke was on adorably dumb Digby when he found out that he fell for an optical illusion!

And look at those uppity ducks floating away like, “That’s what you get, bitch.” Don’t listen to them, Digby, you now know what algae is. Cut to next week when Digby’s human uploads another video of him falling for nature’s trick.

via Bravo

Drake was only 14 when J.Lo came out, so this would be where I should forgive him for not understanding the message Jennifer Lopez was trying to convey in the song Love Don’t Cost a Thing. But since this thing between Drake and Jennifer Lopez probably isn’t love, then $100,000 on a necklace might actually be in line with the cost breakdown outlined in their relationship agreement.

E! News says that Drake walked into a Tiffany store last week and spent $100,000 on a platinum and diamond Tiffany Victoria necklace (probably this one).  I guess this news is supposed to help prove that Drake is head-over-wheels in love with JLo. Regardless of the legitimacy of their relationship, I wouldn’t say he threw his money away on that necklace. He’ll have to check with his accountant, but I think he might be able to write that necklace off as a business expense if he lists it as a thank-you gift to a co-worker.

E! doesn’t say how Drake gave the necklace to Jennifer Lopez, which is weird, because you’d think at least one of their publicists would have made up a cute story to go along with it. Like maybe Drake walked JLo into a room with his hands over her eyes, and when he removed them, she was face to face with her new $100,000 necklace. And when Drake put the necklace on her, he cooed “Don’t be fooled by these rocks that you got. I still, I still love you a lot.” Or something like that.

Pic: Instagram

Just when I thought that today’s “news” day was going to be drier than a cooch after seeing that shot of Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson, I came across some red alarm-worthy news about The Fat Jew (Google him, you dumb fuck) and Wendy Williams.

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Bella Hadid is apparently so angry that Selena Gomez might be dating her ex-boyfriend The Weeknd, that she stopped following Selena on Instagram. You hear that, Selena? Your (not exactly) skanky bad-friend ways have lost you a follower! Now you’re down to 106 million-minus-one. Ouch, how deeply embarrassing.

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On Tuesday night, UK’s Sky Arts wet farted up the trailer for Urban Myths and I’m sure that night, many had trouble sleeping, because every time they closed their eyes, they saw the terrifying image of Joseph Fiennes looking like a melting Matt Lauer Claymation figure in lazy Jack White cosplay. Michael Jackson’s 18-year-old daughter, Paris Jackson, pretty much feels the same way and spit out her feelings on Twitter.

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