Here’s some news you can use the next time you’re on a FaceTime call with the Riverdale-obsessed teenager in your life. Although to be fair, I’m sure there’s some Riverdale-obsessed adults out there who have also been shaken by this recent drama. Or should I say, severe lack of drama. I’m sure Cole Sprouse would prefer I word it that way, because according to Cole, there is no sneaky two-timing going on.
Taylor Swift’s upcoming album is called Lover, and it seems like part of this new era involves reinventing herself from the girl who laughs into her lunch when you ask to sit at her cafeteria table, to a cookie-pushing bundle of rainbow-colored hugs in a LOVE IS LOVE t-shirt. Taylor is such a lover now, she reportedly brought together Katy Perry and Selena Gomez for a song on her album. And if you have even the shallowest gossip knowledge about those three, then you know this sounds awkward as hell.
I know adding the word “messy” in that headline was extremely redundant of me; I mean, is there any other kind of Kardashian break-up? Yesterday it was revealed 39-year-old Kourtney Kardashian dumped her 25-year-old boy toy Younes Bendjima. Today, we’re watching the other Kardashians get into this Younes situation.
One month ago, Selena Gomez and The Weeknd called it quits after she was rumored to have gone crawling back to her first Canadian boyfriend, Justin Bieber. This situation has gotten just a bit more interesting for those who get off on petty drama (raises hand). The Weeknd has allegedly wiped all traces of Selena from his Instagram page. But according to Selena Gomez, she and The Weeknd are still jacket-sharing friends.
Warning: The following story will make you picture Justin Bieber going down on a girl. Please prepare your gag reflex accordingly.
The Weeknd must have finally gotten sick and tired of Selena Gomez’s jealous ex-boyfriend taking so many swipes at him, because it appears as though he might have finally slapped back. On Sunday night, Justin trolled The Weeknd by joking that Starboy is his favorite song. Justin is probably not laughing at The Weeknd’s latest song. The Weeknd appears on a song released earlier today by Toronto rapper Nav called Some Way in which he sings about getting with someone else’s girl. Around the 1:07 mark, he sings this lyric:
I think your girl, think your girl, fell in love with me
She say my fuck and my tongue game a remedy
TMZ says that fans are taking that as a slap to Justin Bieber.
I don’t want to speculate one way or the other, because this lame war between The Weeknd and Justin Bieber is a lose-lose situation for everybody involved. But I hope for Selena Gomez’s sake that The Weeknd’s lyrics are hypothetical ones. It’s just too depressing to think that she put up with Bieber’s bedroom laziness for as long as she did. If only there was a charitable organization out there called Save-a-Snatch that was dedicated to spreading awareness about sub-par oral skills, Selena might not have suffered so long.
Yesterday a source told TMZ that Justin Bieber thinks this drama-causing thing between The Weeknd and Selena Gomez is just Selena being Selena and hooking up with anyone she makes new music with. UsWeekly says Bella Hadid is co-signing that theory. Except she’s not just gossiping with her friends in the girls bathroom about it; she’s also warning The Weeknd about them. Bella truly is the Paul Revere of her generation.
Like Justin Bieber, a source says that Bella thinks Selena is the type to get involved on the job and Selena is reportedly recording music with The Weeknd. Apparently Bella has alerted her former boyfriend several times about the possibility of Selena using him. Several times! Bella is concerned. Sadly, The Weeknd hasn’t been listening to Bella’s warnings.
“Bella has reached out to Abel a few times and told him Selena is using him,” says the Hadid pal. “He thinks she’s just jealous and isn’t listening to her.”
Good effort Bella, but why does she think The Weeknd cares? I’ve listened to Starboy several times, and it made me want to walk through a Los Angeles pool party high on pills and find some emotionally broken person to have sex with while I contemplate my own existence. What I’m trying to say is, The Weeknd strikes me as the casual type who likes a girl with issues and doesn’t like to get too attached. If anything, Bella’s warning probably just made The Weeknd more into Selena. “So what you’re saying is, she’ll be gone as soon as the song is out? Great, thanks for the tip!”