While songbird turned jail bird R. Kelly is rotting in prison, someone out there thought that they’d kindly release an unauthorized album on his behalf and make a quick buck. I hope they’re happy with a few crumpled ones because no one really wants the music of a convicted sex trafficker. R. Kelly is unhappy that he’s not getting his cut of a few pennies and has set his legal team to solve the mystery of who dropped a bootleg album! The mystery they should be solving is why anyone in their right minds would think an R. Kelly album would sell in 2022.

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Gayle King hosts a morning show, her ex-husband cheated on her back in the day, and she dealt with her CBS This Morning co-anchor, Charlie Rose, getting fired over sexual harassment allegations. So on last night’s Watch What Happens Live!, Andy Cohen asked for her thoughts on the Good Morning America cheating scandal involving Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes (who’s kind of the slutty Oprah of GMA since he was apparently screaming, “You get some dick and you get some dick!”, to several of his co-workers). Gayle said that Amy and T.J. are two consulting adults, but it’s “very messy and very sloppy,” and a sad situation since kids are involved. Gayle should’ve ended that by turning to Andy to say, “And yeah, it’s sloppy, but not as sloppy as your ass on New Year’s Eve!“ – Just Jared

A movie version of the Mean Girls musical is happening. Note to Lindsay Lohan: Don’t bother showing up to Tina Fey’s offices in an old Cady Heron costume while cooing, “I still got it!” Because that role has already been cast – Playbill

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Ebenezer Scrooge, thy name is Drew Barrymore! In a recent interview with Entertainment Tonight, Drew revealed that she doesn’t get her daughters gifts for Christmas. Instead, she prefers to take them on an annual holiday trip. Even though Drew says 10-year-old Olive and 8-year-old Frankie are at an age where they “don’t love” this unorthodox tradition, she believes the girls will remember a family trip more than some toys under a tree. She makes a good point. I have vivid memories of getting into screaming matches with my father on our family road trip through the Rockies (he never wanted to stop at McDonald’s), but the only Christmas gifts I can remember receiving were Leonard Maltin’s yearly movie review guides.

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It’s simply not true that everybody in The Business has had work done. The film, television, and music industries are chock-full of natural beauties of every shape and size. Including noses! Yet, somehow, “people have said” that pop-star come fashion mogul Victoria Beckham has had a nose job. But unlike Victoria’s perfectly shaped, petite, little button nose, those people have made a BIG HONKING MISTAKE. According to Entertainment Tonight, Victoria set the record straight (if not her nose because it doesn’t need it, it’s perfect just as God made it, thank you very much) whilst shilling products from her Victoria Beckham Beauty line of makeup in a video aptly titled Beauty Grifting Secrets (if you make a typo and it stays). Sorry, haters, but Posh’s schnoz is made from 100% certifiable, hypoallergenic, vegan, gluten-free, soy-free human flesh and cartilage with just a whiff, if you will, of VBB Bronzing Brick ($58 wherever noses are sold).

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The manager of an Olive Garden in Johnson County, Kansas has been fired after sending an extreme message to employees about attendance. KCTV5 reports that the manager (who has remained nameless) was so annoyed about her restaurant’s “staggering” amount of call-outs that she ordered them to come into work when they were sick to “prove it to us.” Then she took it several billion steps further and wrote, “If your dog died, you need to bring him in and prove it to us.” Um, is that a smart idea for a restaurant? “I’m sorry you found fur in your chicken parmigiana, ma’am. Unfortunately, our kitchen is packed to the rafters with fresh dog corpses…”

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