An Olive Garden Manager Was Fired For Telling Staff To Come Into Work No Matter What, And If Their Dog Dies, They Need To Bring The Dead Dog In To Prove It
The manager of an Olive Garden in Johnson County, Kansas has been fired after sending an extreme message to employees about attendance. KCTV5 reports that the manager (who has remained nameless) was so annoyed about her restaurant’s “staggering” amount of call-outs that she ordered them to come into work when they were sick to “prove it to us.” Then she took it several billion steps further and wrote, “If your dog died, you need to bring him in and prove it to us.” Um, is that a smart idea for a restaurant? “I’m sorry you found fur in your chicken parmigiana, ma’am. Unfortunately, our kitchen is packed to the rafters with fresh dog corpses…”
I hope you’ve been having a pleasant holiday season with life, laughter, and love because I’ve got some bad news that I’m loathed to share. Olive Garden, authentic Italian eatery and second-home to Paisanos everywhere, is potentially ending its popular Never-Ending Pasta Bowl. Looks like Olive Garden is committed to the “We’re all family here” slogan. Only family would dare take away something you love without a decent explanation!
As if we needed further proof that our government has been secretly fattening up the masses as part of an elaborate scheme to secure a sustainable source of protein for the 1% who will be leaving on their spaceships to the outer colonies any day now, Olive Garden has pretty much tipped their hand by introducing a few super sized menu options. The portions debuting today are so big that OG had to issue a statement assuring people that their dreams of ingesting a slab of fried chicken the size of The Rock’s forearm is NOT just a cruel April Fools’ Day joke. No, the actual joke is on you when you spend three days shitting blood after consuming a meatball the size of a baby’s head.