Twitter Is Running On The Fumes As Hundreds More Employees Jump Ship

/ November 18, 2022

Over the past few days, doom-scrolling Twitter has taken on an entirely new meaning. It’s actually kind of been fun, but then again, I have none of Elon Musk’s beluga-hued skin in the game. But according to Business Insider, the Titanic memes and hashtags like #RIPTwitter, #Twitteroff, and #Twittershutdown being gleefully shared probably hit differently for the hundreds of employees who Elon hadn’t already fired as they watch Twitter sink, circling the very drain that Elon walked in with just three weeks before. All the while, Elon’s been working “morning to night, seven days a week,” doing everything in his power to assure the few remaining employees who hadn’t already resigned after yesterday’s ultimatum deadline that they’re a big joke to him by posting dank memes, featuring himself, at their expense, and locking everybody out of their offices until Monday.

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“The White Lotus” Has Been Renewed For A Third Season

/ November 18, 2022

And now for some good news: The White Lotus has been renewed by HBO for a third season. The renewal comes three episodes into the second season, which is currently airing. Season one was set at the White Lotus resort in Hawaii, while season two is set at another White Lotus in Sicily. Jennifer Coolidge’s Tanya McQuoid and her shady-ass husband, played by Jon Gries (aka Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite) are the only characters who have appeared in both seasons. So, where will Jennifer/Tanya travel next? Is there a White Lotus in Iceland? The people need to see Jennifer/Tanya get her tongue stuck to the wall of an ice hotel.

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Elizabeth Holmes Will Be Sentenced Today, And She’s Asking For 18 Months On House Arrest While Prosecutors Want 15 Years In The Clink (UPDATE: She Got 11 Years)

/ November 18, 2022

UPDATE: Well, so much for that cushy 18-month house arrest sentence she wanted. Elizabeth Holmes was sentenced to 11.25 years in the chokey and three years of supervised release. She’ll start serving her sentence in April 2023.

Here’s the original post:

Today is Scammers Reckoning Day for Elizabeth Holmes, the disgraced former CEO of bogus health tech company Theranos. Back in January, 38-year-old Elizabeth was found guilty on 4 out of 11 charges of fraud, and today she will finally be sentenced. Prosecutors are seeking a 15-year prison term for Elizabeth and want her to pay $800 million in restitution to investors she scammed, including the Walton family of Walmart, Rupert Murdoch, and Walgreens. Elizabeth’s lawyers are asking for a touch less: a mere 18 months on house arrest. They’re presenting her as a devoted mother. Elizabeth is married to 29-year-old hotel heir Billy Evans, and they have one child, a 1-year-old son, and a second on the way (yep, she’s pregnant again!). Wait, making babies can help you stay out of prison? Jen Shah, it’s time to unfreeze those eggs! Continue reading

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Aubrey O’Day Says She Tried To Over-Sex Pauly D So That He Wouldn’t Cheat On Her

/ November 18, 2022

Aubrey O’Day is trying to promote her upcoming single, Couple Goals. So she spoke to InTouch about how the song is all about her sad relationship with DJ Pauly D, who she alleges was a serial cheater. While thinking that cheating is only about sex, Aubrey tried to curb Pauly’s wandering peen ways by fucking him all the time so his dick would be too tired to sex a side piece. And it still didn’t work! Aubrey says her poonani was so worn down from all the sex with Pauly that after their relationship, she didn’t have sex for “three years.” Cut to Tristan Thompson writing this down as an excuse for the next woman he cheats on: “Sorry, babe! You should have had more preventative sex with me!”

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Heidi Montag Pratt And Spencer Pratt Welcomed Their Second Child

/ November 18, 2022

If yesterday felt curiously foreboding, it might be because united boils on the ass of reality TV history, Heidi Montag Pratt and Spencer Pratt, took a time out from gnawing on hunks of raw meat on the pap stroll to add another baby boy to their brood. And uncharacteristically, for this couple of clout chasers, they didn’t share Baby Pratt’s name with the press at the time. I would’ve assumed they were waiting on the promise of another check to spill it, but Heidi and Spencer ended up revealing on social media that they’ve named the baby Ryker Pratt.

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Birthday Sluts

/ November 18, 2022
Linda Evans (80)
Noah Ringer (26)
Nathan Kress (30)
Nick Bateman (36)
Georgia King (36)
Allyson Felix (37)
Christian Siriano (37)
Johnny Christ (38)
Damon Wayans, Jr. (40)
Nasim Pedrad (41)
Allison Tolman (41)
Christina Vidal (41)
Nate Parker (43)
Fabolous (45)
Steven Pasquale (46)
Chloe Sevigny (48)
Peta Wilson (52)
Mike Epps (52)
Megyn Kelly (52)

Pic: ABC Photo Archives via Getty Images

Peta Wilson (52)
Duncan Sheik (53)
Daphne Rubin-Vega (53)
Owen Wilson (54)
Romany Malco (54)
Kirk Hammett (60)
Rick Owens (60)
Elizabeth Perkins (62)
Kim Wilde (62)
Oscar Nuñez (64)
Kevin Nealon (69)
Delroy Lindo (70)
Andrea Marcovicci (74)
Susan Sullivan (80)
Margaret Atwood (83)
Brenda Vaccaro (83)
Mickey Mouse (94)
Imogene Coca (1908-2001)
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