The now-tainted Golden Globes returned to NBC last night as foretold, and the 2023 Golden Globes did all they could to make us forget that just a few years ago the Hollywood Foreign Press Association voters were accepting trips to Paris seemingly in exchange for nominations. Well, now they’re trying the whole thing again, and I guess they’re reputable now? Well, they started off strong in terms of winning me over since they gave 60-year-old Michelle Yeoh the Best Actress for a Musical or Comedy last night, and any time goddess Michelle gets her flowers, I’m on board. However, they lost me again when they tried to play her off. Luckily, she’s a martial artist and threatened to whoop their asses, and the band shut that nonsense down and let her finish.

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Regina Hall’s Kevin Costner Call Out Gone Wrong!

There were several winner no-shows at last night’s Golden Globes, and they all gave various excuses. Cate Blanchett won for her performance in Tár but wasn’t there “because she’s on production in the UK.” Amanda Seyfried won a Golden Globe for her performance in The Dropout, but she also wasn’t there because she’s “deep in the process of making a musical.” I’m stealing that one and slipping it into my file marked: Excuses To Use To Get Out Of A Party. Zendaya also won for her performance in Euphoria‘s second season, and she wasn’t there either. Basically, at one point, I waited for a presenter to say that the winner couldn’t be there because they were too busy washing their hair. Regina Hall must have been feeling the same way as me because when Kevin Costner got a Globe for his performance in Yellowstone, Regina side-eyed him at first before she read on the teleprompter why he couldn’t be there and then took us on a nervous giggle journey of pure hilarious messiness.

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Kaley Cuoco and her current man Tom Pelphrey threw a baby shower to celebrate the upcoming arrival of their daughter, and it was a low-key affair. I mean, they only had 400 drones (Haven’t the birds been through enough?!), a band, a multi-course dinner, a giant cake, and an appearance from Brad Pitt. Honestly, I’m a little surprised that Brad Pitt was there. I would think he’d stay far, far away from anything with the word “shower” in it – Jezebel

The good news is that Danny Masterson will be retried on rape charges after his first trial ended with a hung jury, but the bad news is that now a whole new group of people have to look at his smug mug for hours on end – Variety

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Britney Spears must be happier than a pig in shit, y’all, because it seems like everyone has her name in their mouth or wants to appear as a main character in her hypothetical redemption story. But she’s Britney, bitch, and if it doesn’t involve staring into souls while dancing or modeling the same outfit repetitively on Instagram or duetting with Elton John, she’s not interested. So when Beyoncé recently looked down from her golden elevator to invite Brit Brit to appear in one of her videos, the plan failed without explanation. And in a weirder series of events, Britney says she hasn’t been to a birthday party in years–which adds fuel to yesterday’s #FreeBritney conspiracy theory mess when Paris Hilton was accused of (but vehemently denied) photoshopping Britney into a pic from a birthday party. 

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Talk about easy money! You know how they say, “you never work a day when you do what you love?” Well, that was especially true for Ben Affleck this week as he shot a commercial in his hometown of Boston with the love of his life, Dunkin’ Donuts, while his wife, Jennifer Lopez, cheered him on. TMZ reports that Ben was spotted on Tuesday “dressed in an employee’s uniform and hamming it up for cameras out of the drive-thru window.”

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