The great American egg shortage of 2023 continues to afflict us all, leaving us omelet-less and making our cakes less rich and fluffy. While society waits for our precious egg reserves to be restocked, we just have to satisfy our cravings with vegan versions. But for those based in England, there’s another type of egg shortage going on: a lack of Cadbury Creme Eggs! A cunning thief hatched a plan to steal a truck full of the sickly-sweet treats and embarked on the illegal escapade. Either he has the world’s greatest sweet tooth, or he’s starring in an Easter reimagining of the Grinch.

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The man who transformed the mere act of whining into an insufferable art form is back to give us even more. After showing that he’s still the world’s greatest sore loser, Chris Brown is back to remind us that he’s also a contender for world’s biggest scumbag. While singing might be the way he pays the bills, his true calling in life is complaining about how the world is unfair to a millionaire who has a track record of being entitled and awful AF. In today’s episode of “Everybody Hates Chris,” Chris is super pissed that people still dislike him for assaulting Rihanna.

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Don Lemon burped up an “apology” after he said on his ratings-challenged CNN morning show that women are in their “prime” in their 20s, 30s, and “maybe 40s.” Don spit up that nugget of stupid while talking with his co-hosts about presidential candidate Nikki Haley’s suggestion that politicians over 75 should “undergo mandatory mental competency tests.” And Don either decided to let us know that he can still mouth-fart up dumb crap, or he’s saying dumb crap so that CNN can finally put him out of his misery by shit-canning his morning show – Pajiba

Austin Butler’s Oscar campaign took him to Hot Ones, and not even Lucifer’s pre-cum (aka hot sauce) could completely knock his Elvis voice from his mouth – Lainey Gossip

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The Advocate reports that a video of Sam Smith being harassed in New York has gone viral. The clip shows the 30-year-old singer minding their own business in Central Park, when a bunch of far-right homophobes/transphobes begin verbally assaulting them. A very angry woman screams at Sam to “leave the kids alone!” She calls them a “demonic, twisted, sick bastard”, and a “pedophile”. Another person shouts, “Groomer!” In the video, Sam pauses to film the harassers before walking away. Too bad they weren’t wearing their wacky inflatable black balloon costume from the BRIT Awards. Coulda bounced those conservative pricks into the next stratosphere. Continue reading