Personally, I think Tom Brady needs to give himself a few more months before jumping back into the shallow end of the dating pool. Because at this juncture, all he’ll find are vapid twenty-somethings and football fan girls ready to lay hands on all those Brady bucks in his bank account. But, I guess now that he’s finally ended his illicit affair with football and his ex-wife Gisele Bündchen has spilled about their split to Vanity Fair, it’s time for him to find another lover. And he’s been out there playing the field in a different way, although there may already be a new overnight toothbrush that’s found its home in Tom’s bathroom. A not-so-blind item claims that a “recently divorced A-list NFL athlete” is dating an “A-list actress” who just announced her divorce. Hmm… who could THAT be?

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2008 was a notably awful year. People ran around wearing shutter shades and Uggs with miniskirts as “Lollipop” played on a loop in our brains while the entire financial system collapsed. The 2008 bar was on the ground, but we could almost all agree (or all of the 10s of people who’ve sat through it) that The Love Guru starring Mike Myers was a corny, unfunny turd, as evidenced by its 13% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes and several Razzie Awards. The Love Guru made The Cat In The Hat look like Citizen Kane. But apparently, Mike took his time on set very seriously; because a Canadian radio DJ named Jay Brody says he was hired to work as set security but was fired four hours into his first day for accidentally making eye contact with Mike.

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In 1996, Brooke Shields guest-starred on Friends as Joey’s obsessive fan, and during a date scene, she had to lick Matt LeBlanc’s hand and fingers. Brooke’s then-boyfriend Andre Agassi, who later became her husband and then ex-husband, was in the audience during the taping and apparently lost it because he obviously never heard of something called “acting.” Brooks tells The New Yorker in a new interview that he busted out of the studio and later screamed at her for making a fool out of him and broke all of his trophies in a rage. She later found out he was on meth at that point, so his freakout made more sense to her. Andre wrote about the story in his 2009 memoir Open, and Brooke’s told it before too. But honestly, I’m surprised Brooke still has a tongue after Andre said she humiliated him. I would think she’d bite it off to keep herself from saying, “Humiliate you? Your old gas station mullet wig already did a good job of that!” – Entertainment Weekly

On today’s episode of What Happens When White Lotus Characters Go Skiing (aka the Goopy Paltrow hit-and-run ski trial), a biomechanical engineering expert drew stick figures to illustrate the crash. Never mind that it looks like those stick drawings need to get a room; I’m sure Goopy herself wasn’t amused. Even though the expert was a witness for the defense, she probably still wanted to jump up and say, “I object your honor. That stick figure is way too fat to be me.” – Uproxx

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Kelly Ripa covers the latest issue of Variety, and in the interview she talks about the epic highs and lows of her 22 years hosting Live! 52-year-old Kelly says that when co-host Ryan Seacrest decided to leave the show, she was nervous about her job. Ryan and her husband/future co-host, Mark Consuelos, assured her she’d be fine, but she told them she still had “a little PTSD” based on how ABC executives had treated her in the past. Kelly tells Variety that when she first started at Live!, ABC wouldn’t let her have an office. They stuck her in an empty janitor’s closet! They also wouldn’t give her a private bathroom. She had to line up with the studio audience to use the public toilet, even when she was pregnant. Variety describes her treatment as outrageously sexist. Kelly says that, at the time, she didn’t realize how bad her situation was, and her ignorance was her superpower. Huh. I thought her superpower was her freakishly short arms. Continue reading

While talking about the season two finale of The White Lotus, its creator Mike White said that the show’s third season will most likely be set in Asia. And today, it’s been confirmed that season three will show us rich assholes behaving like rich assholes in Thailand. As for casting, anyone spotted in public with Mike is a potential cast member in the eyes of surveilling fans. And that’s why the first suspect is Danny Devito, who was caught grabbing dinner with Mike White.

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