Night Crumbs

In 1996, Brooke Shields guest-starred on Friends as Joey’s obsessive fan, and during a date scene, she had to lick Matt LeBlanc’s hand and fingers. Brooke’s then-boyfriend Andre Agassi, who later became her husband and then ex-husband, was in the audience during the taping and apparently lost it because he obviously never heard of something called “acting.” Brooks tells The New Yorker in a new interview that he busted out of the studio and later screamed at her for making a fool out of him and broke all of his trophies in a rage. She later found out he was on meth at that point, so his freakout made more sense to her. Andre wrote about the story in his 2009 memoir Open, and Brooke’s told it before too. But honestly, I’m surprised Brooke still has a tongue after Andre said she humiliated him. I would think she’d bite it off to keep herself from saying, “Humiliate you? Your old gas station mullet wig already did a good job of that!” – Entertainment Weekly

On today’s episode of What Happens When White Lotus Characters Go Skiing (aka the Goopy Paltrow hit-and-run ski trial), a biomechanical engineering expert drew stick figures to illustrate the crash. Never mind that it looks like those stick drawings need to get a room; I’m sure Goopy herself wasn’t amused. Even though the expert was a witness for the defense, she probably still wanted to jump up and say, “I object your honor. That stick figure is way too fat to be me.” – Uproxx

While looking like she was modeling a look from Forever 21’s unauthorized Grace Jones collection, Taylor Swift accepted the Innovator Award and said during her speech that it’s okay to fail. I’m guessing she’s talking about her blasphemous Santa Baby cover, which was, is, and never will be okay – Lainey Gossip

Becky G (she sings that Shower song) became the Disney Junior version of Shakira when her footballer fiance Sebastian Lletget was caught cheating on her. Unlike Shakira’s cheating ex, Sebastian is at least acting like he gives a fuck and burped up what is mostly your standard publicist-written apology. But he threw in a new one I hadn’t heard before. He says he’s going to try to better himself by undergoing a mental wellness program. So I guess “undergoing a mental wellness program for cheating” is the new “going to rehab for exhaustion” – Jezebel

When Sheryl Lee Ralph said that she was sexually assaulted by a “famous TV judge” during an event “many years ago,” some threw eyes at Judge Judy like, “Say it ain’t so,” while most threw suspicious eyes at Judge Joe Brown. He definitely felt those eyes on him. Judge Joe denied on Twitter that he’s the answer to that blind item. He should’ve just left it at that, but then he posted some haiku-like shit that should be titled: The TV Judge Doth Protest Too Much – Pajiba

Kaley Cuoco did a maternity photoshoot with her current fiance Tom Pelphrey and their dogs. A photoshoot that clearly needed more of the pooches in it – Celebitchy

An X-Files reboot from Ryan Coogler might be upon us in the future… – The A.V. Club

Pics: NBCUniversal, INSTARImages