Archives: June 2019

Open Post: Hosted By The Guy Who Hit A Cop Car While Watching “Saved By The Bell” While Driving

June 15, 2019 / Posted by:

God bless #Murica. 55-year-old Kevin Bacon, and not the actor as far as this Smoking Gun story knows, was allegedly watching clips from Saved By The Bell on his phone. Specifically an episode called “Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce.” While driving. And he hit a cop car. Wait, he really told the Thetford Police Department cops WHAT EPISODE he was watching? Did I type the #Murica hashtag yet? Someone check.

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Chris Brown Is Expecting Another Kid

June 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Crazed asshole person Chris Brown has reportedly graced ex-girlfriend, Karrueche Tran look-alike Ammika Harris’s womb with an incipient human who will hopefully have the sort of absentee dad who only calls on Christmas and birthdays, according to Page Six. What’s the alternative – illegal wild animals as presents and tattooed clown daddy allegedly throwing his drugs out the window because the cops are trying to bust on in?

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Taylor Swift Gave A Surprise Performance At Stonewall Inn (But Where Was Lindsay Lohan?)

June 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Taylor Swift is currently really big on the world tasting her Gay Pride rainbow (with middling results) and the next assault in her campaign took the form of a pop-up performance at NYC’s Stonewall Inn last night. Lindsay Lohan, who recently outed herself as a huge Tay Tay stan, was nowhere in attendance. Maybe the yacht she’s currently “vacationing” on couldn’t make it to New York Harbor in time?

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Chris Martin And Dakota Johnson Are Reportedly Done

June 15, 2019 / Posted by:

While Gwyneth Paltrow touts the marital advantages of her husband living in a different home miles away from her, her ex-husband Chris Martin obviously chose not to follow her lead. The Sun reports that Chris has broken up was with his girlfriend, 50 Shades of Boring S&M star Dakota Johnson. Earlier this year, Chris bought a $5 million Malibu beach house for them to live in together. Who would have thought that GOOP could ever be right about anything?

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Stretch Serpent!

Nowadays if you said you were stretching the serpent, it would mean you’re jacking off, or you’re a pilates instructor to snakes and are in the middle of a class, or you’re the private chiropractor of Jon Hamm’s Hammaconda (yes, The Hammaconda has its own chiropractor). But back in the 1970s, stretching the serpent also meant playing with a toy that slithered out of a meth lab in the Ninth Circle to terrorize humanity!

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Birthday Sluts

June 15, 2019 / Posted by:
Courteney Cox (55)
Barkhad Abdi (25)
Nadine Coyle (34)
Wayne Sermon (35)
Mary Carey (39)
Neil Patrick Harris (46)
Chloe Dao (47)
Poppy Montgomery (47)
Andy Pettitte (47)
Dana Bash (48)
Jake Busey (48)
Bif Naked (48)

Pic: Getty

Leah Remini (49)
Ice Cube (50)
Idalis DeLeon (50)
Helen Hunt (56)
Michèle Laroque (59)
Eileen Davidson (60)
Julie Hagerty (64)
Polly Draper (64)
Jim Belushi (65)
Jim Varney (1949-2000)
Johnny Hallyday (1943-2017)
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