Arby’s is proving to be one jealous meat loving bitch with their response to Burger King’s vegan impossible burger. Arby’s is making a meat carrot and they’re calling it a Marrot. It’s made of turkey, sadness, and salt and then it’s sprayed down with the same spray tan Trump uses. It’s truly some monstrosity to behold.
Introducing “Marrots” — the all-meat vegetable that says take a hike, Impossible Burgers.
On Wednesday, Arby’s unveiled its latest innovative creation, which looks just like a carrot, but don’t be fooled vegetarians — it is actually all meat, raising the promise of their slogan “We Have the Meats” to a whole new level.
The “Marrot” is the first release of the “Megetables,” which is Arby’s form of competition (and trolling) against other fast-food companies that are attempting to create meat-free menu items. This includes Burger King, which recently released The Impossible Burger, a meatless, plant-based burger patty.
I know Arby’s has a certain clientele (as one of them is my husband) and I’ve said this before that Arby’s is the Insane Clown Posse of fast food and their patrons are the Juggalos. And Juggalos love hard. So I’m not surprised that Arby’s went after a carrot. Arby’s isn’t going to sit around and let a carrot mock who it is at its core. Arby’s motto is, “We Have The Meats” and carrots better watch the fuck out.
And look, I like revenge as much as the next revenge lover, but eating a meat carrot to say F-U to Burger King is not the kind of petty I’m into. Plus then you have to eat a meat carrot and after watching this video I would rather eat a barf sandwich.
Arby’s Chief Marking Officer (yes they have one) is claiming that this is what American’s really want their vegetables to be.
“Plant-based meats are the latest incarnation of making vegetables look like what Americans really want, which is great, tasty meat,” Jim Taylor, Chief Marketing Officer for Arby’s, said in a statement.
Umm. The fuck we do. I want my carrot to look like a carrot, because it is, in fact, a carrot. America doesn’t need more vegetables made from Arby’s meat, it needs more vegetables made out vegetables. And then maybe some curly fries.