Open Post: Hosted By The Farmer’s Tan On Chris Pratt’s Ass

June 30, 2019 / Posted by:

Chris Pratt recently married Katherine Schwarzenegger after one year together and they honeymooned in Hawaii. They’re obviously so in love that Chris was too busy staring into her eyes to remember to have his bride slap some SPF on his back so he got burnt. The big oaf decided to show off his sunburn with a little touch of ass on Instagram. Follow the jump for those milky cheeks.


View this post on Instagram


Suns out guns out I might have got a toouuuch crispy on the honeymoon #Aloe

A post shared by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on

That looks painful. To make matters worse, Gwyneth Paltrow decided to plug her life’s work in the comments.

“I’ve got some goop for that.”

Sunburns suck and aloe seems to only cool them for like 2.3 seconds so it’s even worse when the Goop Queen hawks her website on your pain photo.

Also, I’m a total ass-ologist and I’m detecting some definite clenching of the buttcheeks in this pic. Pratt has to live up to that Guardians of the Galaxy body and now the poor dude’s gotta suck it all in whenever he’s sans clothing in photos. The Marvel Cinematic Universe ruins lives and by that I mean its denizens have to fake like they’re still in shape and not going the whole hog at the Cheesecake Factory whenever the paps aren’t around.

Pic: Instagram

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