While North West has to suffer through her tragic excuse of a wannabe stylist daddy, Kanye West, dressing her in overpriced mass-produced rags from her mom’s stupid children’s clothing line, Blue Ivy Carter is sipping sparkling mangosteen juice from a Baccarat crystal juice box as a REAL stylist shows her sketches of opulent gowns done exclusively for her by high fashion designers. If Blue Ivy is ever feeling charitable, she can send the other children of millionaire celebrities the location of the Salvation Army she donates her couture gowns to after wearing them once.
You ever heard the saying “when opportunity comes a knockin’, place that bitch in a headlock and find a way to hold it hostage?” Yeah, me neither. But clearly that must be a popular phrase at Veronica Morales’ house, because after continuously swatting away at Beyonce’ and her legal team in their attempts to trademark the name Blue Ivy, she’s finally revealed her master plan to the tune of $10 million.
Is it wrong to stan for a child president? Because after last night’s Grammy Awards, little Blue Ivy Carter gave us “that moment” and I don’t know about you, but I got the vapors and gasped “she’s running”. If you missed it, that moment was when Blue Ivy did the lord’s work and told her parents Beyoncé and Jay-Z they was doing too much. #BlueIvy2020.
In case your friends posting all over Instagram and Facebook this weekend about how Beyoncé changed their lives didn’t give you a hint, Queen B turned 36 yesterday. She managed to snatch the Labor Day focus off BBQ and summertime sadness, and onto herself for the highest holiday in the Beyhive’s calendar.
But Bey’s day wasn’t celebrated how us normal folks might do. We have happy hour margaritas and inevitable tears about accomplishing jack shit. Beyoncé has Michelle Obama dressing up in a Beyonce costume for an artistic photo shoot. Continue reading
Rumi and Sir Knowles-Carter are the twin deities that sprang forth from the blessed womb of Beyonce back in June. As all things concerning Queen Bey and her consort Jay-Z are, the meaning of the twins’ names is vitally important! Their eldest daughter, five-year-old Blue Ivy, was obviously named after plants and colors. I kid; Blue was inspired by a Rebecca Solnit poem, and Ivy is supposedly a riff on the Roman numeral IV. The number four is a big deal for the Carters, in regards to birth dates and anniversaries and album titles and what have you. But what’s the deal with daughter Rumi’s name? And did Bey and Jay merely want the servants addressing their son Sir properly from the jump? The second part of Jay-Z’s interview with the Rap Radar podcast (via Us Weekly) revealed all!
For awhile now, Jay-Z and Kanye West’s friendship situation has been reminiscent of that friendship you have with that one person that you like but is always causing a problem in a public setting. Either they have a personality issue, or they can’t hold their booze, or they temporarily claim allegiance to the stupid and problematic. You’re loyal to them but you can only drag them out of so many parties before they’re thrown out and have to make sure they’re not going to murder the Uber driver so many times.
That’s what Hova and Yeeszus’ relationship was like for awhile. That was until Kanye’s meltdown late last year when he talked a lot of ish about Jay. What tipped the scales for Jay was when Kanye started in on his wife and child, Empress Beyonce and Blue “The Messiah” Ivy, during a show in Sacramento.