Category: Under The Influence
“Covidiot” Influencer Arielle Charnas Received A PPP Loan Of Up To $350K For Her Fashion Company
If there’s one good thing to come out of this coronavirus situation it’s knowing that no matter how bad things get, our government has done everything in its power to provide society’s most vulnerable, you know, Instagram inflencers and the like, with a safety net in #TheseUncertainTimes. According to Page Six, fashion brand Something Navy received $350,000 PPP loan which might help make up for the damage done to its reputation when founder Arielle Charnas packed up her family (including the nanny) and ran off to the Hamptons after her rich-lady backdoor COVID-19 test came back positive. All of which she documented on social media like she really did something, when all she really did was piss off a whole lot of people and earn the distinction of becoming the “poster child for what not to do in a pandemic.” So naturally the government gave her many handfuls of cash.
YouTuber Myka Stauffer Says It Was Her Adopted Son Huxley’s Choice To Live With Another Family
Good news! Turns out all that pearl-clutching we were doing last week when we learned that YouTubers Myka and James Stauffer “rehomed” their adopted 4-year old son Huxley as easily as Chris Pratt would an incontinent cat, was for naught. According to Just Jared, Myka posted an update letting her followers know it was Huxley’s decision to go live with another family. Phew! Little man probably said fuck these crazy Stepford-looking people, took out a handkerchief, wrapped up all his shit up, tied the bundle to a stick, threw it over his shoulder, and said Peace! Out! And who could blame him?
Kim Kardashian West Is Becoming More Modest On Instagram
You have to scroll all the way back to June of 2019, though pages and pages of Kim Kardashian in her underwear, to find a picture of her wearing a thong bikini. That’s because, according to People, Kim’s not about that life anymore. Her transformation from blow-jibber jester to media mogul/business tycoon/renowned humanitarian/respected preacher’s wife/one of America’s preeminent legal minds, is almost complete. She’s only about 78 credits short of earning the Nobel All-Around prize which they made up just for her. I guess the only other criteria is not posting bikini pictures of her ass on Instagram. Well, apparently posting some is OK, but Kim’s not going to be posting “a ton” of them anymore. I hope the Nobel Committee will show some leniency. Totally unrelated, Kanye West has legally changed his name to Nobel Committee.
Jonathan Cheban Officially Changed His Name To Foodgod
Jonathan Cheban went from pretending to be Kim Karsahsian’s best guy friend on KUWTK to changing his name to Foodgod and pretending to be a food expert, probably because Kim balked when he asked if he could legally change his name to Kim K BFF. But because Kim has powers the federal government does not have, Jonathan has been allowed to make his name change to Foodgod legal. According to TMZ, the official judgement was entered last week in Florida, which is Foodgod’s primary residence, and helps to explain at least a little bit.
Instagram Is Pumping The Breaks On Filters That Mimic Plastic Surgery
Say goodbye to that filter that makes it look like your face has been encased in Saran Wrap. Instagram has announced it’s removing a number of filters that simulate the effects of plastic surgery in order to “promote healthier and more realistic body image ideas”, according to Us Weekly. Spark AR, the company that creates the filters for Instagram, posted a statement on Facebook (which owns Instagram) saying they would be “removing all effects associated with plastic surgery from the Instagram Effect Gallery” and “postponing approval” of any new apps that serve the same function. This is obviously great news for humanity, and terrible news for the Kardashians.
Time Magazine Released A List Of The “25 Most Influential People on the Internet”
Brace yourselves. A heinous travesty of justice has occurred. Time Magazine released its newish (this is the 5th year) annual list of the 25 Most Influential People on the Internet and Lindsay Lohan’s not on it. With that omission, Time’s list is a complete and utter failure and should not be taken seriously. Completely ignoring the fact that #DoTheLilo is the battle cry of a generation, Time’s list includes a woman who punctured her anus with her fingernails (Cardi B), an asbestos hawking Rainbow Brite doll, (Jojo Siwa, above), a sentient ponytail (Ariana Grande), a brazen American hussy and her faultless ginger prince (The Duke and Duchess of Sussex), a reformed porn addict (Jada Pinkett-Smith), a pro-cellulite crusader (Jameela Jamil), and some dude with an ugly dick (Donald Trump, allegedly). If Time doesn’t think Lilo belongs in that company, they’re out of their goddamn minds.