Despite not having a job that would require her to fill out a W-9, Lindsay Lohan is hard at work squeezing every last drop of publicity out of her 2019 Lohanaissance. The difficult labor Lindsay’s been engaging in, includes celebrating her 33rd birthday with a tasteful nude posted to Instagram. With her realty show and beach club shuttered for good, and her nemesis Paris Hilton shutting down any hope of her joining a reboot of The Simple Life, Lindsay’s using what Dina Lohan gave her to turn what might have been a bummer year into art.
In case anybody was stumped about what to get her for her birthday, this selfie is not only an act of self-love, it’s also wish list. Lindsay could use some furniture, some beachy wall art and maybe a few framed photos, a Roomba, and a cardigan.
Lindsay’s also reaching back to tap into her brief moment of viral fame. According to Lindsay, it’s not officially a Hot Girl Summer until everybody’s doing The Lilo.
Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t alert you to this exciting piece of news. Apparently, Lindsay’s been making time on the dance floor with Nicolas Cage. She calls him Baci for some reason and insists he’s an Italian designer. But she’s not fooling me!
Lindsay’s kind of on a roll. With her music career about to take off again, now might be a good time for her to hop in on the Scooter Bruan/Taylor Swift drama. She’s put herself in Taylor’s mix before. Keep that momentum going, girl! #dothelilo!