Category: Trash
Zachery Ty Bryan Has Been Charged With 2 Felonies For Allegedly Attacking His Girlfriend
The harsh realities of life and all of its consequences continue to beat up against the side of the bloated, Trump-loving face of Zachery (with an E) Ty Bryan following last week’s news that the former “Home Improvement”––and literally nothing else––actor was arrested for allegedly attacking his girlfriend. Well, the plot has thickened as new details are emerging about the night in question. AND, to top it all off, Zachery has formally been charged with 2 felonies related to the incident…it looks like things really couldn’t get any worse (I mean, according to IMDB, it’s pretty much all been downhill for ZTB since 1999).
The 465-Page Ghislaine Maxwell Deposition Is Out
Just a couple of days after a judge finally spit at Ghislaine Maxwell’s repeated moves to keep a 2016 testimony of hers from public eyes, it has been released, which means that several journalists have propped their eyelids up with toothpicks to not miss a thing as they go over every smegma-wrapped lie that leaped off of her demon tongue. So far, it seems like Ghislaine dodged questions as though the questions were an of-age woman and she was Jeffrey Epstein. It also looks like the hardest working trick, besides the geyser hole of lies that Ghislaine calls a mouth, is the black bar. The names of several of Epstein’s powerful friends are blacked out. The devil works hard, but the lawyers of the elite work harder to keep their clients’ names out of Ghislaine’s mouth, on paper anyway.
Zachery Ty Bryan From “Home Improvement” Got Arrested For Domestic Assault
There’s nothing more sobering than being a full-grown adult and finding out that the fifth-billed star of one of the TV shows you grew up watching is now sitting in the clink for being an alleged woman-beater. That’s right, the kid from “Home Improvement”, no, not Jonathan Taylor Thomas––we will never stop looking for him––the older one…Zachery Ty Bryan, was picked up by Oregon PD this weekend for attempting to strangle his girlfriend. Taran Noah Smith would NEVER! (Also, what the fuck with those try-hard 1990s Tiger Beat names?)
Czech Immigrant Ivana Trump Is Being Called A Bigot After She Echoed Donald Trump’s Views On Immigrants
Donald Trump’s ex-wife Ivana Trump is being labeled as a bigot after a recent appearance on the British chat show Loose Women. Ivana, an immigrant to the United States, said among other things, that immigrants come here to steal and rape women. Now before you rush to judgment, know that she was working on very little sleep. Maybe she was talking about Donald. After all, she had to get up hours before the interview to do her hair and makeup after having had a sleeping pill chased with a little chardonnay as a midnight snack. But more likely, just like everything else that bears the Trump name, Ivana proved, once again, that no matter how much you buff it, wax it, or plate it with gold, we’re still just looking at a quivering monument to racism, narcissism and greed with too many teeth. And yes I am including the steaks. It says so right there on the label “may contain teeth.”
Ghislaine Maxwell Has Reportedly Been Put On Suicide Watch And Is Wearing Paper Clothes And Sleeping On A Bare Mattress
After finally getting put into handcuffs for grooming and abusing underage girls as part of Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged sex trafficking ring, Ghislaine Maxwell was moved from a jailhouse in New Hampshire to a detention facility in Brooklyn. The Bureau of Prisons reportedly didn’t want to move Ghislaine to the detention center in Manhattan where Jeffrey Epstein was kept, because that’s where he died in what officials call a “suicide” but what we call an “act of convenience for the powerful people took advantage of Epstein’s ring of illegal horrificness.” The Associated Press says that officials want Ghislaine to go to trial (or take a plea deal and spill it all) so they’ve put her on suicide watch and took away her bedsheets and replaced her prison jumpsuit with clothes made of paper. PAPER?! Wait, are they trying to keep her alive or kill her? Because if her paper clothes aren’t made of $100 bills or gold Haute papier, then she’s going to die from the embarrassment of wearing Fashions By Kelly Paper.
Ghislaine Maxwell Has Been Moved To A Brooklyn Detention Facility
It’s been a little under a week since Ghislaine Maxwell (and for the millionth time, her name is not pronounced gee-lane, or zhee-lane or jizz-lane. It’s pronounced gar-bahj!) was finally arrested for allegedly grooming and abusing underage girls as part of Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking ring. Ghislaine was hiding out in a luxurious New Hampshire lair when the feds busted her, and up until yesterday, she was being kept in a New Hampshire jail. The New York Post says that Ghislaine was moved to a detention center in Brooklyn yesterday and prison officials are reportedly keeping all eyes on her. Because while Ghislaine’s number is finally up, hussy, they don’t want her number to be up up.