Category: Sports
Jennifer Lopez And Alex Rodriguez Aren’t Buying The New York Mets After All
This is no doubt going to be heartbreaking news for anyone who was eagerly anticipating what it would be like if Jennifer Lopez owned the New York Mets. Me personally, I pictured Mr. Met in a sexy pinstripe thong, whipping himself around a stripper pole while JLo belted out an extra-sexy version of the national anthem. That’s definitely not something that will ever happen, because The New York Post is saying that JLo and Alex Rodriguez have ended their quest to buy the Mets.
Jennifer Lopez And A-Rod Are Reportedly Trying To Buy The New York Mets
Today in business and sports news (sigh), Jennifer Lopez and her current fiancée, Alex Rodriguez, whose combined net worth is reportedly about $700 million, “have retained JPMorgan Chase to raise capital for a possible bid on the New York Mets.” Translation: JLo and A-Rod partnered with some big money companies to try and buy a baseball team.
Damn, when those two finally get hitched, that divorce is going to be a doozy. Continue reading
Donald Trump Reportedly Asked Alex Rodriguez For Advice On The Coronavirus Situation
As many of you know, the world of sports is an absolute ghost town, so in order to keep fans thirsting for something, I guess they are now brushing away the tumbleweeds by reporting on stuff like this? According to Sports Illustrated (not a line I thought I’d be typing today), Donald Trump has been asking former Yankees (I think that’s baseball) player Alex Rodriguez for advice about the deadly coronavirus. You read that correctly.
A French Soccer Player Was Suspended Five Years For Biting His Opponent’s Penis
And now, in sports… WAIT! Don’t click away! It’s about dick! Although, it’s not a good dick story. A French football (or soccer to some) player got suspended for biting his opponent’s penis. According to local news outlet Lorraine Actu (via Sports Illustrated), the penis biting occurred during an amateur game between SC Terville and AS Soetrich (neither team pictured, those are totally different teams, so apologies to that soccer penis), soccer clubs in Lorraine, France. Two players began fighting on the pitch (translation: the green part), and a Terville player jumped in to break it up. Well, this peacemaker may regret not staying out of it, because that’s when a Soetrich player chomped down on his dick. Continue reading
A Taylor Swift Banner Is Getting Censored For L.A. Kings Hockey Games Because Fans Think It’s Bad Luck
Ready for some shocking news? A bunch of hockey fans are not really into staring at a banner celebrating Taylor Swift anymore and want it gotten rid of. I know, shocking! Don’t the worlds of professional hockey and annoying dear diary love songs intersect?!!!
TMZ says that a banner celebrating Taylor Swift at the STAPLES Center will be covered up during the hockey games of the L.A. Kings because fans think that it’s bad luck.
LeBron James Lets His Kids Drink Wine
LeBron James is trying to be the coolest dad in the NBA. Of course it’s not that hard when you’re the best basketball player in the world (apparently, like, I have no idea, I don’t watch basketball) and when you were just signed to the fattest contract to ever line your bank accounts. And also he’s a great person, with that school for underprivileged and everything. But LeBron shows us that he truly know what these kids really want: Booze.