Jennifer Lopez And A-Rod Are Reportedly Trying To Buy The New York Mets

April 21, 2020 / Posted by:

Today in business and sports news (sigh), Jennifer Lopez and her current fiancée, Alex Rodriguez, whose combined net worth is reportedly about $700 million, “have retained JPMorgan Chase to raise capital for a possible bid on the New York Mets.” Translation: JLo and A-Rod partnered with some big money companies to try and buy a baseball team.

Damn, when those two finally get hitched, that divorce is going to be a doozy.

Here’s the business of it all, via Variety:

The superstar couple is working with managing director Eric Menell, the bank’s co-head of North American media investment banking, said the people, who were granted anonymity because the matter is private. Menell didn’t respond to several requests seeking comment.

Representatives for Rodriguez and Lopez did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

Sources tell TMZ that A-Rod and JLo’s possible purchase of the New York Mets is not a “vanity” purchase, but that it’s purely business. Um, I beg to differ. When you’re as self-obsessed as JLo and A-Rod, grabbing a pack of gum at the corner store is technically a vanity purchase.

Insiders tell us it’s strictly a business decision, and we’re told A-Rod has a vision for the New York Mets that will handsomely line his and his fiancee’s pockets.

Wait, it’s about the money? PIKACHU MEME FACE. Speaking of money, A-Rod and JLo are allegedly covering a small percentage of the purchase price. The rest of the money will come from “big investors,” who will allegedly drop somewhere between $25 and $50 million. The remaining balance could be covered by financing from a bank. TMZ’s sources add that A-Rod wouldn’t be a silent owner, and that has some people nervous.

The danger – we’re told A-Rod has an interest in working with the players. The conventional wisdom: Hall of Fame-level players typically screw up when they try to mess with the roster.

Since sports are stupid and I know nothing about them, I called my little brother to give me some context. After answering the phone with a loving “What?”, he informed me that A-Rod played for the Yankees, the other New York baseball team. And since those two teams are rivals, A-Rod going after the New York Mets may be a controversial move. My brother also compared it to A-Rod’s forever frenemy/former butt-grabbing buddy Derek Jeter, who bought part of the Miami Marlins in 2017. So this may also be part of their long standing dick-measuring contest.

To top it all off, JLo is, obviously, from the Bronx (didn’t need to call a male relation for that info!). And according to TMZ, that there’s Yankees country. The Mets are based in Queens. Whew. Enough sports talk. Excuse me while I binge six hours of Real Housewives reunions to flush that jock nonsense outta my brain. Gotta keep the mind sharp during this pandemic!


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