LeBron James is trying to be the coolest dad in the NBA. Of course it’s not that hard when you’re the best basketball player in the world (apparently, like, I have no idea, I don’t watch basketball) and when you were just signed to the fattest contract to ever line your bank accounts. And also he’s a great person, with that school for underprivileged and everything. But LeBron shows us that he truly know what these kids really want: Booze.
The Washington Post is reporting that 33-year-old Mr. Basketball himself lets his kids enjoy the finer things in life: wealth, travel and wine. Speaking with reporters at a LA Lakers practice, he said how “mature” his kids are. LeBron has 3 children with his wife Savannah: sons LeBron James Jr., 14 and Bryce, 11, and daughter Zhuri, 3. And apparently two out of three of those kids enjoy the sauce, but Zhuri is only three so give it three more years, and we’ll see what the deal is. LeBron dropped this at his practice:
“I’ve got very mature 14- and 11-year-olds… My 14- and 11-year-olds drink wine.”
LeBron also quickly added that the permission to get wine-drunk was “on me” and not “on mom.” Wow, a married athlete with three kids with one woman who takes responsibility for his actions? LeBron really out here changing the game. Next you’ll be telling me he doesn’t cheat on his wife and she always knows how to contact him.
LeBron’s kids are no wine snobs and they’ll take: “Whatever dad or mom is having.” Same. I’ll drink wine out of a glass, bottle, jug or box. White, red, rosé; honey if it’s over 10% alcohol content, sign me up. Here’s video of the interview:
LeBron says his kids have a glass with mom and dad ? pic.twitter.com/OcQJ6NBvRM
— ESPN (@espn) October 10, 2018
Apparently LeBron is becoming a bit of a wine connoisseur, which is what I call myself every time I buy a 4L box of merlot. I call myself that monthly. LeBron posted a video to his social media back in August showing off bottles of wine with a combined value of over $3000:
This LeBron James Instagram story is brought to you by today's sponsor: Wine pic.twitter.com/ZGPQR4P51r
— Harrison Faigen (@hmfaigen) August 14, 2018
Okay, honey, now we disagree. I am not spending more than $15 on wine unless it’s a special occasion. And even then, the max is $25. Wine should not cost thousands of dollars, like why? Was it blessed by a sorceress? Will it give me an erection for the next five hours? Not worth it. A perfectly good bottle of 13% rosé costs $9.95, and that is what I’m willing to pay for it.
LeBron said earlier in the month that he had given up the good stuff for two weeks while getting ready for his first season with the Lakers. But don’t worry, he’s not giving it up for good, LeBron said the experience: “Made me want wine more.”
While we may think of this as a quirky thing for rich, privileged and French people to do, MADD was not amused by the underage wine. They tweeted their disdain of LeBron’s decisions with wine and his kids:
We still have a long way to go to educate parents about dangers of underage drinking. Early age drinking is assoc w/dev of alcohol use disorder later in life+alcohol can alter brain dev that continues well into 20s. Many reasons to support 21 drinking age! https://t.co/se0gJ7WHFP
— MADD (@MADDOnline) October 10, 2018
I’m sure in response to this message, LeBron just put on his sunglasses, picked up his expensive Hermes suitcase, and walked the fuck away.
LeBron also joked with the reporter that his kids will: “be driving next week, too.” So if you live in LA keep your eyes peeled for a 14 and 11-year old barrelling down Sunset Boulevard in Maybachs. Don’t be worried they’ll run you over though, they’re very “mature”.