Nick Cannon Claims That He’s Having A Bunch Of Kids On Purpose
In a world filled with constant ads for erectile dysfunction, Nick Cannon is a true unicorn. He has proven to everyone that there’s no shame in spreading your seed around as long as your hose keeps working, even though we’re all looking at him like he’s crazy. Still, what better joy is there than to have a baby with the woman you love? Unless you keep falling in and out of love with random chicks leaving behind a bunch of kids destined to sing Papa Was A Rolling Stone at all of their future family gatherings. However, despite what the critics say, Nick insists all of his new beneficiaries were planned little miracles and he’s proud of what his jizz has accomplished in such a few short years.
According to People Nick’s Ncredible dick has sired seven children with four different women, including his Lamb twins with ex-wife Mariah Carey. Recently, he’s welcomed a few new baby friends with Brittany Bell, Abby De La Rosa, and most recently model Alyssa Scott. Nick has fathered four babies with one year. But even though what looks to us like the worse Broken Condom tour in history, Nick wants us to know he loves his babies, and none of them were happy accidents.
On his Power 106 Los Angeles radio show Wednesday, The Masked Singer host, 40, said he’s been “having these kids on purpose” after City Girls rapper JT advised him to “wrap it up,” a nod to using a condom when having sex.
“I don’t have no accident,” said Cannon, who appears to have become a dad to his seventh child, his fourth baby in a year, with model Alyssa Scott. The new mom, who appeared to confirm that she was expecting a son with Cannon on Father’s Day when she shared a photo of him and her baby bump, and she recently announced that she welcomed her baby boy on June 23.
That’s right Slick Dick Nicky, you better be happy for all those kids! But then again, he’s got enough cash to take care of all of them. Still, I wonder what tune he’d be singing if he was married to a minimum wage gig while his stable of baby moms form a Soul Train line with their hands out looking for a monthly check. But the rules hit different for the rich and Nick knows this. This is why he has no time for comments from poor haters struggling to take care of themselves, let alone a kid. And he delivered more cringe-worthy nuggets by saying that he could’ve made many more babies:
“Trust me there’s a lot of people that I could’ve gotten pregnant that I didn’t,” Cannon said on Wednesday. “The ones that got pregnant are the ones that were supposed to get pregnant.”
How very “cult leader” of him.
I’m sure all of those other ladies are so grateful to have dodged the bullets from Nick’s smoking gun because anyone that determined to father three extra children in just under a year has to be crazy as cat shit. And the scariest part is that since he’s bragging about his seahorse semen, there may be a few more kids on the way for many years to come. Hopefully, he’ll step up and take care of all those babies, or else he can definitely look forward to Mariah leading a choir of the mother of his children singing a rousing rendition of Don’t Forget About Us outside his window every night.
Check out a snippet from Nick’s interview with the Twerkulator Twins below.
Pic: Wenn.com