Category: Reboots and Remakes
Here’s Tom Hanks As Geppetto In The Teaser Trailer For Disney’s Live-Action “Pinocchio”
I’ve already seen 1971’s The Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio which is the only live-action Pinocchio I ever need to see, but since Disney didn’t get paid for that one they’re doing it themselves. In the first teaser trailer for Disney’s Pinocchio, Tom Hanks ditches the Flemish accent from Elvis in favor of a House of Geppetto accent as a creepy old man who gets on his hands and knees and wishes on a star for his wooden puppet to be transformed into a real boy knowing damn well every legitimate adoption agency in the world probably has his picture posted on the wall with the caption “DO NOT ADOPT TO THIS MAN. If you see him, please contact the F.B.I.”
Margot Robbie Will Produce And Star In An “Ocean’s 11” Prequel Set In The 1960s
If you thought that eight, eleven, twelve and thirteen Ocean’s were too many Oceans, how does the idea of -2 Ocean’s strike you? According to The Hollywood Reporter, the next Ocean’s 11 movie in the works will be a back-to-the beginning prequel set in the 1960s starring and produced by Margot Robbie. Jay Roach, Margot’s Bombshell director, will be in charge of keeping track of however many random ass Oceans they populate this one with as director. If you think herding cats is hard, you should try herding Oceans!
HBO Has Released A Trailer For The “Game of Thrones” Spin-Off “House of the Dragon”
I don’t know who is still clamoring for more Game of Thrones after showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss shit the bed at Westeros during the final season. But HBO spent a lot of money on ratty-looking white-blond wigs and unless they want to cut them up and use them for a limited series called Night of a Thousand Warhols starring Nicole Kidman, they’ve got to recoup their costs somehow. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the GoT prequel, House of the Dragon, is set to premiere on August 21, which is just around the corner. That’s tantamount to it having premiered three weeks ago, by GoT standards, given that it’s barely been 3 years since Dasani, Mother of Hydration, made her small screen debut in the finale.
Selena Gomez Is Executive Producing A Comedy Series Based On “16 Candles”
16 Candles is one of those movies I loved as a kid but is nearly unwatchable today. So I’m not particularly pressed that Selena Gomez is going to turn it into a half-hour single-camera comedy series for Peacock. Deadline reports that Selena will executive produce 15 Candles, which will be a “reconfiguration of the world” of John Hughes’ original. I don’t know if that means it’s going to be set in a different town, or if we’re finally going to get to see what things look like on the other side of the tracks in Shermer, Illinois. And I mean the OTHER OTHER side where all the non-exchange student minorities live, not where Molly Ringwald lived in Pretty in Pink.
The Cast For The Upcoming Movie Musical Adaptation Of “The Color Purple” Has Been Announced
Black History Month just got a little Blacker and more historical with the cast announcement for the upcoming Oprah Winfrey-produced movie musical The Color Purple which is based on the hit Broadway musical which was based on Steven Spielberg’s Quincy Jones produced-and-scored 1985 movie which was based on Alice Walker’s Pulitzer Prize-winning 1982 novel. Of course, soon-to-be household name Oprah co-starred in the movie playing Sofia and now, almost 40 years later, she’s calling Danielle Brooks on the phone and yelling “Sofia, So-FEEE-AAHHHHH!! It’s your day!” Then she probably called up Fantasia, Colman Domingo, Taraji P. Henson, Halle Bailey, Corey Hawkins, and H.E.R. and was all “And YOU GET PART and YOU GET A PART and YOU GET A PART!!!” because they did, they all got parts.
Taylor Swift’s New 10 Minute Version Of “All Too Well” Has People Mad At Jake Gyllenhaal All Over Again
When I saw Jake Gynnhaal trending on Twitter last night I braced for the worst. And reader, I was not wrong to do so. Jake Gyllenhaal was dating Taylor Swift. Thank god it happened 10 years ago but still, what were you thinking? I had forgotten how mad the Swifties were at Jake when the song All Too Well debuted on Taylor’s 2012 album Red. But because the only villain in the Taylorverse more dastardly than Jake is Scooter Braun, Taylor’s rerecording all her old albums. And so, with the release of Red (Taylor’s Version) last night, the internet is crawling up Jake’s ass anew for allegedly popping Taylor’s cherry before ghosting her on her 21st birthday as suggested in the lyrics of All Too Well (10 Minute Version: This Time It’s Even More Personal).