Category: Jeans Are The Devil’s Work
BREAKING: Michelle Duggar Wore LEGGINGS (Under Her Skirt) On An Outing With Some Of Her Daughters
Moon? Blue. Pigs? Flying. Hell? As frigid as a courtship date chaperoned by failed Arkansas senate hopeful Jim Bob Duggar because unredeemable son enabler Michelle Duggar just stretched the limits of her fundamentalist religion’s rule of only wearing dresses and skirts! Michelle was recently pictured wearing black leggings. Granted, she did wear a skirt over them, but it almost looked like she was only wearing pants. Don’t tempt the devil!
Josh Duggar Had Days Added To His 12.5 Year Prison Sentence And Is In Solitary Confinement For Sneaking In A Cell Phone
Clammy, rapidly regenerating big toe who miraculously gained sentience after smugly strolling out of an enabling Michelle Duggar’s skirted flop pocket, Josh Duggar, will have a couple fewer days to knock up Anna Duggar, the ride-or-die birth canal with arms and legs he married; because his 151-month sentence for being guilty of possessing child pornography was just extended by 41 days after he was caught with a smuggled-in cell phone. Josh has been held in solitary confinement since the phone was discovered and may have to stay there for months.
Excuse Me As I Torch Every Pair Of Jeans I Own
Since my usual hangout spots aren’t a mega-yacht off the coast of St. Tropez, the private viewing room at Cartier in Beverly Hills, the chef’s table at The Ivy in London, and an Arab sheik’s $100 million Manhattan penthouse, I will probably never feel a La Mer-infused cloud of glamour hit me while seeing Dame Joan Collins live and in person. But just in case she ever decides to slum it with the disgusting peasants at a Target again, I’m going to destroy every pair of jeans I own and only leave the house in my freshly-ironed formal sweats (the one with the least stains on them). Because I do not want to be the one who makes Dame Joan dry heave into a Hermès handkerchief from the sight of legs slathered in the fabric of Satan (read: denim)!