Category: Open Post
Open Post: Hosted By Hundreds Of Pounds Of Pasta Mysteriously Dumped Along A New Jersey Creek
Last week, the New Jersey-iest mystery to have ever happen happened: hundreds of pounds of different varieties of pasta were dumped in a wooded area next to a creek. And though the mess was cleared away, no one has come forward to take the far-FALLE. Perhaps NJ’s own Chris Christie’s wettest dream of the Olive Garden bringing back the Never-ending Pasta Bowl came true!
Open Post: Hosted By Padma Lakshmi Saying She Eats 8,000 To 9,000 Calories A Day While Filming “Top Chef”
The other night, Padma Lakshmi went on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, and she and Jimmy Kimmel got to talkin’ about her new Sports Illustrated photo shoot. Entertainment Tonight reports that Padma told Jimmy that she would’ve killed for the opportunity as a twenty-something model, but now, at age 52, the prospect of posing in a bikini totally freaked her out. Padma says she immediately thought, “I gotta go to the gym!” Fortunately, she was already hitting the gym hard cuz she was trying to work off the weight she’d gained while filming the latest season of Top Chef. Jimmy asked how many calories Padma eats while filming Top Chef, and she answered “8 or 9,000 calories a day. Easily!” Big whoop, I can eat 9,000 calories in one sitting (when I’m blackout drunk and feasting on Mcdonald’s).
Open Post: Hosted By Jennifer Lopez At The Met Gala Sans Ben Affleck
Last night hundreds of fashionistas (and a handful of fashion-NO-stas) bum-rushed the annual Met Gala in New York City to pay tribute to late couture curmudgeon Karl Lagerfeld, who was certain to be judging with mean giggles and side-eyes. But one person who knew she couldn’t let herself or Karl down was Jennifer Lopez. JLo arrived draped in head-to-toe Ralph Lauren, peering into the cameras with her patented “You poor people stay away from me” gaze. And in an attempt to keep her evening free from sad boy energy, she left her husband Ben Affleck at home. But I’m sure he was more than happy to skip this one.
Open Post: Hosted By Karl Lagerfeld’s Cat, Choupette, Turning Down Her Invitation To Tonight’s Met Gala
Tonight’s Met Gala theme, Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty, will surely bring a delightfully tacky coterie of black blazers, neckties, folding fans, powdered wig ponytails, and hater shades. But one refreshing element many were looking forward to was the late Karl’s beloved 12-year-old cat, Choupette Lagerfeld, accepting her invitation to the event and asshole-out strutting down the red carpet as the fashion community creams their tailored black suit pants. But, perhaps Choupette was thoroughly put off from public life after recently being cradled in an awkward football hold by Naomi Campbell in Vogue with the looming threat of being whipped at an assistant at any second; because Choupette’s Instagram account just posted that she’ll be sitting out the Met tonight.
Open Post: Hosted By The Young Leonardo DiCaprio “Lookalike”
While enjoying the sun, sand, and drinks in beautiful Bali, a vacationer named Michaela thought she spotted a famous face, Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s known to vacation in exotic locales, so who’s to say it wasn’t him? However, as the effects of the tequila shots wore off and seeing him mingle with women over the age of 30, Michaela realized that it wasn’t Leo but an uncanny doppelganger, according to her. Hear that, ladies? There’s another Leo out on the prowl, ready to trick women into thinking they can survive the expiry date of 25 years old.
Open Post: Hosted By Bruce Springsteen Bringing Michelle Obama On Stage To Sing “Glory Days”
Bruce Springsteen is currently on an international tour, giving people’s ears a taste of all of his beloved hits. Most recently, The Boss was found in Barcelona doing his usual thing of singing and shaking his ass. However, this particular show took a turn for the Mad Libs when the singer brought former FLOTUS Michelle Obama and timeless actress Kate Capshaw on stage to play backup on Glory Days. A resounding “QUE??” went up throughout the audience as they didn’t know they were going to get the sight of Michelle Obama and Kate Capshaw yodeling along to a Bruce Springsteen song.