Fifth Harmony is what you get when the pretty girls at the office Christmas party decide to perform their finest version of anything by Destiny’s Child after one too many shots of Fireball. And last night, during the annual MTV Video Music Awards snoozefest, the group decided to take home the award for Best “Fuck YOU Bitch!” by a group when they threw some delicious, long awaited shade at former member Camila Cabello.
Many will recall that Camila fell out of harmony with her band mates and chalked up the deuces by going solo in December of last year. It was Earth-shattering news! Well last night the remaining members had an opportunity to give their former friend a completely tasteful parting gift. The moment came at the beginning of the performance for their song “Down” which showed the members all on stage as a quintet. That is, until the music started and the fifth member did the ultimate suicide drop into oblivion like she was yanked off the stage by Sandman during Amateur Night on Showtime at the Apollo.
WAS THAT SIPPOSED TO BE CAMILA DAMCMQKXM pic.twitter.com/xB9g46irDn
— ? (@elevenstare) August 28, 2017
“We’re extremely excited. This is definitely one of the biggest moments of our careers – something we’ve worked so hard for to get to a place where people would want us on the stage, so we’re excited as heck for it…there are so many surprises.”
Lord, I don’t mean to be mean (yes I do), but, darling, shaking your ass in rhinestones and black sheer in front of a crowd onstage isn’t called hard work. It’s called Titty Tuesdays at any strip club in America. I must admit though that I am biased against this group. I absolutely hate that dumb ass “Work From Home” song because they all sound annoying as hell. Don’t be calling me all night while I’m on the job and you’re at home unemployed try’na get fucked!
Here’s the video of their whole performance:
In any case, apparently the gyrating and whining they call singing is something people like, because “Down” won the award for Best Pop Video. Slow clap for these ladies please everyone. And Bravo to the VMAs (which in this case stands for Very Mediocre Artists) for inflating the egos of yet another group of people who’ll probably be working from home selling discounted vibrators in about two years.
Check out the remaining members of Fifth Harmony (maybe they should change their name to We Can’t Count now) looking like high school virgins before and after prom night.