Category: Mariah Carey
In Completely Understandable News: Mariah Carey Confused Reese Witherspoon With Jennifer Aniston
Now, before you catty kittys all give a resounding “bland basics – it’s understandable, Mimi” hand wave at her error – Reese is a blonde! And Aniston is like a…brunette color. And Reese once asked a cop if he knew who her ass was? And Aniston had the “Rachel.” Two different ladies of varying career successes! Anyway, yeah, Mariah Carey gave a speech in which she confused Reese Witherspoon with Jennifer Aniston and you’re right, all it required was the teleprompter mixup hand wave that Mimi gave it.
Open Post: Hosted By Mimi Slumming It With The Peasants For The Sake Of Her Daughter
If you’re the 8-year-old daughter of Mariah Carey and she asks you to pick any store in the world to have a shopping spree in, the only acceptable answers to prove to her that you are indeed her child are:
- Cartier, dahlink!
- Tiffany’s, dahlink!
- Harry Winston, dahlink!
- Zsa Zsa Gabor’s estate sale, dahlink!
But I guess that Mimi and Nick Cannon’s daughter, Monroe, was in the mood to make her mom suffer, and felt like saying, “The Jennifer Lopez section at Kohl’s,” would be going too far, so she went with Target. Surprisingly, Mimi didn’t answer with, “I don’t know her.”
Open Post: Hosted By Mariah Carey Letting Us Know That It’s Too Early For Christmas Music
If you’re anything like me, once the summer heat starts to die down, you’re ready to break out the Santa hat and Christmas lights because the countdown has begun! And one of the best things about Christmas is CHRISTMAS MUSIC!! Wooo, let me contain myself, because we still have a while before we get there. Now, on the other hand, if you’re anything like Mariah Carey (AKA the giggest Christmas Queen since Lucy from Peanuts), you kind of want to pause before it’s time to do the Charleston in Bedford Falls. And she has no problem letting anyone, including American Idol alum Katharine McPhee, know she ain’t ready to start belting out any of her holiday classics….yet.
Mariah Carey Engaged In A Little Political Shade On Twitter
Many people have spent the past few days saying Donald Trump’s name over and over (sometimes with as much pissed-off energy as a human body can summon). Mariah Carey might be feeling that sentiment, but she certainly isn’t letting the words “President Trump” come from her. Because Mariah recently let it be known that Trump isn’t her President.
Mariah Carey Says She’s Only Slept With Five Guys
This would be an entirely different story if the five guys in question were the five guys of Five Guys, which is where my mind went first because hamburgers. But we don’t have names. All Cosmopolitan was able to get out of Mariah for their August issue is a number, and Mariah’s declaration that she’s a “prude” when it comes to sex.
Open Post: Hosted By Justin Bieber Losing To Mariah Carey In The Bottle Cap Challenge
Another year, another viral internet “challenge” has been ruined by Justin Bieber. Over the past few years, Justin’s participated in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge (after it had already been won by Phoebe Price), the Mannequin Challenge (after Boston the Boxer had already shut down the competition), the In My feelings Challenge (already won by a hot doc), and least successfully, the Comport Yourself Like You Have A Lick Of Sense challenge. In each of those instances, Justin’s been too late. It’s as if every viral challenge is instantly rendered lame the moment Justin’s assistant types “#…” on his Instagram post. Now he’s done the Bottle Cap Challenge, which was started by started by Kazakh taekwondo champion Farabi Davletchin, and popularized by Jason Statham and our former HSOTD, the chancla ninja. The Challenge as you know: Unscrew the lid off a bottle with a roundhouse kick. The Challenge Killer: Justin’s shirtless torso and under-drawers waistband talking about kicking Tom Cruise’s head in. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a loser. #GameOver