The word “nasty” used to be a hot one. I mean, who doesn’t want to hear your piece call you a “nasty sissy boy cum dumpster” before they spit in your face and choke you out? What!? Just me?! Okay, but now the word “nasty” is hot no more, and it’s all thanks to Donald Trump. Nothing will give your dick slit a case of cotton mouth or make your cooze beat the Dry Valleys in Antarctica for the title of the driest place on Earth like Trump saying the word “nasty.” And he’s been saying it a lot lately.
While in the UK, Trump did an interview with Piers Morgan for Good Morning Britain, and said that he never called Duchess Meghan nasty and only said she was nasty to him. WARNING: The clip after the cut contains Trump spitting out the word nasty several times. So keep an IV drip full of fluids near your down-low parts, because they’re gonna need it.
Natalie Portman Says Moby Lied About Dating Her And He Was Actually An Older Man Creeping On A Teenager
Oh, Natalie Portman and Moby, they could’ve been the Queen and King of Vegans, but the only problem is, according to her, is that she never ever wanted to lick celery leaf butter off of his bald head (or whatever you vegans do during sex), and saw him more as a vegan Woody Allen creeping on a barely legal girl. “That’s slanderous! I’d never creep on someone legal,” cried Woody Allen.
E! News pretty much shot a million more holes into Brooks Ayers’ “I swear I’ve got cancer” claims yesterday when they posted proof that he faked his chemotherapy bills and got a rep from City of Hope to confirm that they’ve never treated the slimy douche dingle from the Real Housewives of Orange County. Brooks told E! News last week that he does have cancer and he showed them chemotherapy bills from City of Hope as proof. But after getting called out, Brooks admitted to E! that the chemotherapy bills he showed them were as real as whatever the hell Vicki Gunvalson put in her face.
On the Real Housewives of Orange County last season, a huge chunk of time was spent on whether or not Vicki Gunvalson’s (now ex) piece Brooks Ayers was and is faking cancer. New Housemess and piece of dehydrated celery, Meghan King Edmonds, was one of the first to say that something in the milk ain’t cancer. In one of the earlier episodes, a psychic told Meghan, Tamra Judge and Heather Dubrow that shifty and shady Brooks doesn’t have cancer. They decided to investigate that shit and stopped short of hiring Detective La Toya to get to the bottom of everything. Meanwhile, Brooks and Vicki kept insisting that he has the Big C and those demonic hags will rot (well, not really rot since plastic doesn’t do that) in hell for accusing a poor, sick man of faking the sicks. Brooks recently claimed he got chemotherapy treatments at City of Hope and he provided the receipts. But well, City of Hope has released a statement saying, “We don’t know the bitch.”
If you checked inside of Khloe Kartrashian’s veins, you’d probably find nothing but silicone, fillers and extra chunky flecks of LIES flowing through them. Khloe has said before that she stays looking like a plastic Muppet dipped in metallic paint thanks to squats and makeup contouring. Khloe has stepped away from filming the upcoming 36-part E! docu-series Khloe Saves Lamar to pimp out her new book Strong Looks Better Naked and she is once again howling about how not even an ounce of filler has filled her mug and how her Butterball turkey ass is cage and hormone-free.
“Big Papa Frankie – he lets me call him that – asked me out weeks ago and we had a beautiful long date and he told me he loved me, showered me with gifts and promised me that we’d be in each other’s hearts forever.”
Today, Pope Francis was like:
“Errr, yeah, we went out, but after 5 minutes, I acted like I had to go to the bathroom and left while blocking her number on my phone.”
We’ve all been there.