A Photographer Claims To Have An “Embarrassing” Picture Of Prince Andrew From His “BBC Newsnight” That Would “Rock The Monarchy” If It Came Out
We’ve all seen enough shocking and embarrassing photos of Prince Andrew to last several lifetimes. I mean his chimpanzee with a coffee addiction teeth-situation alone is shocking and embarrassing enough to warrant an investigation. However, according to The Daily Mail, a photographer who worked on Andrew’s soon-to-be dramatized BBC Newsnight interview, is in possession of a photo of Andrew from that shoot that is “SO shocking,” and “SO embarrassing” that it would “rock the monarchy” if it were ever to be made public. So naturally he “hinted that it may feature” in the upcoming film. No wonder Hugh Grant has denied he’s in talks to play Andrew. Playing a disgraced Royal caught up in a sex scandal involving young girls is one thing, but he’s not about to risk his career and reputation reenacting a scene in which Andrew is covertly photographed reaching into his pants (presumably), pulling out a cheesy dick-booger and smelling it before popping it in his mouth. Talk about a career/boner killer.
Brooke Shields Called A 1980s Barbara Walters Interview About Her Calvin Klein Ad “Practically Criminal”
I’m not sure if we’ve actually gotten any less appalling as a society since the 1980s, but at least we have the good sense to look back and identify where we were wrong while we forge ahead and continue to be wrong in new and worse ways. Back in 1980, everybody lost their shit over 15-year-old Brooke Shields’ Calvin Klein’s ad campaign in which she declares “you want to know the only thing that comes between me and my Calvin’s? Nothing,” which, if you’re not a dumb kid, is highly risque! And according to Brooke, she was a dumb kid at the time and had no idea why adults were suddenly clutching their pearls at the mere mention of her name. Brooke recently appeared on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast and talked about a lascivious 1980 interview she did with Barbara Walters, which opened with Barbara asking the teen what her measurements are, “practically criminal.” OK, settle down Hasselbeck, this has nothing to do with you! Continue reading
In case the cult robes, rubber masks, shaved eyebrows and low company he’s been keeping haven’t clued you in yet, Kanye “Ye” West continues to do his thing completely unhampered by reason, tact, or Kris Jenner. Surrounding himself with a cadre of yes men (No yes girls allowed!), Kanye recently appeared on the Drink Champs podcast to talk about a few of his favorite things — Drake, Donald Trump, his wife’s sex life, his “$9 billion,” and his own special blend of alternative facts, illogical conclusions, and delusions of grandeur. So, you’ve been warned. Beware all Ye who enter here!
Even though it may seem like the world is out to get him, there’s at least one person willing to take a stand in defense of Donald Trump’s best ghoul Rudy Giuliani after he was caught on tape fondling whatever it is that lives in his pants (I’m trying not to think about it too hard but I can’t help picturing a damp teratoma tumor with teeth yellower than the ones he has in his mouth) as seen in Sacha Baron Cohen’s newly released movie, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Kazakhstani national Borat Sagdiyev has posted a message of support for the beleaguered attorney.
Even though Nicolas Cage is currently working on two different projects (his turn as Tiger King Joe Exotic for an 8-part miniseries and his is turn as Nicolas Cage in the movie The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent) he’s bored enough in quarantine that he’s considering teaching his pet crow, which eats Sheba Perfect Portions cat food, to say “cock” instead of calling him an asshole every time he walk in the door. At least that’s what he told his friend Marilyn Manson in a recent interview for Interview magazine. In fact, Nic and Marilyn spent a good portion of their interview talking about cocks (Marilyn compared his to a mummified hand Nic once owned, which tracks) but they managed to keep them in their pants long enough to talk about a the time Nicolas won $20,000 at roulette and gave it all away to a Bahamian orphanage. Which also tracks.
Prince Andrew must have hired the band The Spin Doctors on accident instead of a real PR film (he probably saw Two Princes on their resume and assumed it meant they had experience representing royalty), because whoever it was The Palace hired has been doing a piss poor job of making a convincing argument that Andrew’s friendship with prematurely (debatable) deceased (undebatable) pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, was based on anything other than a shared love for underage girls. Nobody’s buying it. So The Palace has taken extraordinary measures to address the situation. Andrew agreed to sit for a “no holds barred” interview with BBC Newsnight regarding his relationship with Epstein, which will air on Saturday.