Eff the Great Pumpkin, nothing says “Happy Halloween!” like Marilyn Manson’s face on a dildo! UpRoxx reports that the sad clown of nu-metal unveiled some new Marilyn Manson-branded swag on Instagram yesterday. In addition to stencils for putting Marilyn’s insignia on your jack-o-lanterns, you can also get a fake dick bearing his face for each of your favorite orifices! As his hashtag says, #dickortreat!
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This is probably not the best item to hand out to the kiddies who come to your door on All Hallows Eve. You should probably stick with fun size Snickers or toothbrushes (I’m kidding about the toothbrushes, everyone hated that family). It’s not because it’s that perverted. It’s more like Marilyn Manson ceased being edgy a long time ago and the 7-year-olds in Slenderman costumes are just going to see it and go “meh” and probably toss it in the gutter. And then we’ll have a build-up of Marilyn Manson dickheads blocking sewer grates and it will flood during the next storm and FEMA will have to be called. And Marilyn will become relevant again. No one wants that.