Category: Horny Legends
Glamour, Thy Name Is “And Just Like That.” Here’s The First Full Trailer For The “Sex And The City” Revival
People suffering from Sex and The City blue balls are about to get a long-overdue release. Much like a seductive, sexually liberated woman, And Just Like That has been slowly revealing herself to us, teasingly removing one layer at a time. First, a glove. And to our horror, the hand it was on was missing a finger. The best finger at that! No, not that finger, the middle one. And that was almost a year ago that we learned Kim Cattrall’s Samantha would definitely not be appearing in it. The tease has continued apace all this year with one slow, boring reveal after another and here we are, on the precipice of a climax and we still ain’t seen nary a nipple. That’s because Carrie’s been walking these streets wearing so many damn clothes she looks like the bed at a buzzy Upper East Side house party on a chilly autumn night. But now, with just over a week to go before it premieres on HBO Max, AJLT has finally shrugged off her blouse and the full trailer is out.
BREAKING NEWS: Leonardo DiCaprio And Camila Morrone Are Closer Than Ever
After accidentally almost taking billionaire and space cowboy Jeff Bezos’s lady, Leonardo DiCaprio is making it clear to the world that he is indeed in a beautiful, unique relationship that will stand the test of time. And no billionaire’s girlfriend is going to change that. Maybe a fresh 20-year-old model but not someone over 40 (That sound you hear is Leo saying “ewww!” off in the distance)! 47-year-old DiCatchAHo and his 24-year-old girlfriend Camila Morrone have been together for almost four years, and, according to E! News, their relationship is “really solid.” If the definition of “really solid” is “has approximately 12 months until the next model trade-in” then they certainly are!
Lauren Sanchez Went Gaga Over Leonardo DiCaprio In Front Of Jeff Bezos
Jeff Bezos may be the richest man in the world, but even with that resume he couldn’t stop his girlfriend Lauren Sanchez from ogling Leonardo DiCaprio at the recent Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) Art and Film Gala. For once in their relationship, Lauren’s the one with the wandering eye! Should Leo be onboard when Jeff’s $500 million Super Yacht eventually crashes into an iceberg/populist uprising and sinks, you can be absolutely certain that Lauren is gonna find a way to fit his ass on that door. What am I saying, she looked at Leo like he was the damn door, and tried to scramble up him to safety before the suckerfish attached to her arm pulled her down.
Quincy Jones Says He Refused To Work With Elvis Presley Because He Was Racist
Old LLQJ (that’s Loose Lips Quincy Jones) is at it again, flapping his gums and telling stories out of school. I wish I could take credit for coining LLQJ, but that’s the name his daughters gave him after his last string of interviews landed him in hot water. And what does a legend do when they find themselves with a surplus of hot water? Well, he makes his apologies and then pours another serving of tea. The tea’s not quite as hot as this round (hard to top Marlon Brando and Richard Pryor, just ask Marvin Gaye) but tasty all the same. In the first installment of The Hollywood Reporter’s Icon series of interviews, 88-year-old Quincy claims that he refused to work with Elvis Presley because Elvis was “a racist mother…” which is not nearly as surprising as finding out that Marie Osmond had a big ole’ ass. Two lumps, lots of lemon for me, thanks Q.
Suzanne Somers And Her Husband Get Shot Up With Peptides So They Can Sex On Each Other Twice A Day
Oh god, he’s totally poking it from behind in that pic, right? You dirty trollops, you’re at a charity event for children! Somebody turn the hose on those horny uncouth sluts!
After Suzanne Somers graciously celebrated her 73-year-old birthday by gifting us with the vision of her squatting naked in the wild on her property in Palm Springs, she told us that her husband of 42 years, 83-year-old Alan Hamel, took the pic. Well, now I also have the vision of Suzanne taking tweezers to Alan’s pepaw nalgas to pick out cactus pricks, which he got as she rode that dick on the dirt after he was overcome with horniness from seeing his wife’s naked body. Because according to Suzanne, fuck o’clock (or fuck ole’ cock) rings twice a day in their house and they have peptides to thank for that.
Open Post: Hosted By The Florida Couple Who Were Arrested For Having Sex In The Back Of A Police Car
Florida, America’s horniest state, has once again blessed us with a sticky, gooey MESS. Somebody needs to send a mage with a freshly sharpened quill down to the citadel to pull out the dusty tome called “The Book Of Horny Legends” because it needs to be updated. A Nassau County couple, Megan Lynn Mondanaro, 35, and Seth Aaron Thomas, 31, were arrested and charged with multiple crimes after they allegedly took an all expenses paid trip to The Bone Zone in the back of a patrol car after having failed field sobriety tests for biking while drunk and horny. The focus! The determination! The gall, and the nerve! Megan and Seth, we salute you!